15 Reasons Why Toodlers Are Such Angry Little People

Toddlers get a bad rap. Their lives are tumultuous and filled with people who just don’t understand that they need their sandwiches cut into perfect triangles that don’t touch each other under any circumstances. And the juice should be in the blue cup…I mean the red cup…no, it’s actually the blue. Life is hard for these little dictators because sometimes they need to feel the satisfying crunch of a thousand Cheerios under their feet and most people are trying to take this away from them.

Of course, they feel angry. Who wouldn’t?

Here are some other reasons why toddlers are probably so angry all of the time:

1. They fall down a lot.

Have you ever seen how often those little shorties bite the big one? I don’t know any official numbers, but it’s often. I’d be pissed too if I was falling down all day long on legs that just weren’t working properly.

2. Moms don’t get shit right.

It’s not that hard, really. Moms should be able to figure out that clothes are painful to toddlers extremities, and that if your toddler wants to get into the car all by themselves, well then, the world will just need to wait.

3. There is literal crap in their pants.

And potty training is for losers.

4. Nobody understands what they are saying.

Words are hard, and sometimes screaming just feels right.

5. Everybody is trying to ‘change’ them.

If they have made a self-commitment to cry hysterically each time they don’t get to push the door button at the library, who are you to try and take this from them?

6. Nobody takes their problems seriously.

They don’t want your “help” while putting on their shoes; they just want one thousand years to get it right. Chill out.

7. Pants are the true oppressor of our great nation, and nobody seems to get this.

Toddlers get it. Legs are meant to feel all the changes of the seasons.

8. Time-outs are like jail for innocent people.

Toddlers are ruled by instinct, and their instincts tell them to say, “No!”  in a very loud voice when asked most things.

9. Everyone is always suggesting a nap.

They don’t need a nap; they just need someone to let them paint their body with syrup like God intended.

10. It’s like nobody has ever seen someone want to be naked in Target before.

Toddlers are innovators, and they predict that nudity is going to be the next trending topic.

11. It’s always, ‘hold my hand,’ ‘don’t run in the street,’ ‘don’t eat batteries,’ ‘don’t lick the cat.’

These things bring them joy. You don’t know that toddler’s life, lady.

12. They understand that the choices you are offering

them are complete bullshit.

Oh, really. They get to choose between taking a nap now or taking a nap in five minutes? They know a con when they see one.

13. There’s a never-ending list of things they need to do, and people keep jacking their shit up.

Jacking shit up — every toddler’s mom should wear a shirt that says this.

14. They haven’t known you for very long, so they need to see how long it takes for you to blow.

It’s like a long scientific experiment titled, “How fast can I make these people taking care of me lose their minds?” Their hypothesis is “very soon.”

15. Tantrums are great stress relievers.

It’s better than meditation and/or exercise according to some toddler experts.

So, next time you see a toddler losing his behavior at the grocery store, the playground, the pool, the library, the restaurant, or your own home, remember that they are just trying to live their most authentic life. Instead of trying to escape their wailing, you should really stay and watch and applaud their efforts. And give them candy.

Via Scary Mommy

8 Things That Become Annoying After Becoming a Parent

Before becoming a parent, I probably could have come up with a pretty decent list of things that annoyed me. Things like people chewing with their mouths open and slow drivers in the fast lane mostly just the obvious offenders that annoy most other people too. But since become a parent? Well, let’s just say that the list of annoyances has grown exponentially, though most of the things that make the list are things that would’ve been no big deal in the pre-parent days. Here are lists of things that have become annoying since becoming a parent.

1. The UPS guy who rings the doorbell

Pre-kids, the UPS guy ringing my doorbell was a neutral event in my day. Actually, it was probably an enjoyable event in my day; because it meant some fun item or another awaited me in a package. Now I sort of want to punch the UPS guy (or anyone for that matter) who dares to ring my door bell and wake my baby from his nap.

2. The fact that Costco doesn’t open until 10:00 AM

Before parenthood, I rarely tackled errands before 10:00 AM—because, sleeping in on Saturdays. But now? 10:00 AM rolls around and I’ve probably been up for four hours. I mean, seriously? The day is halfway over by 10:00, Costco. The parents of this nation need economy size boxes of baby wipes and 3-packs of milk and we need it before 10:00 AM. Perhaps I should start a petition.

3. The chatty checker at the grocery store

OK, this was a little annoying before kids as well, but after kids it’s on another level. I’m sorry chatty checker, I really don’t want to hear your life story and I definitely don’t want to tell you mine while my kid is making a mess. I don’t even care. Not even a little bit.

4. Any and all lines

Waiting in lines is never a super fun task for anyone, but it had always just been a part of life. But waiting in lines with kids can be downright hellish. And waiting in line behind someone whose club card isn’t working or who can’t find a coupon while my kid is crying doing even get me started.

5.People who get offended by public breastfeeding

Before becoming a parent, I recognized that some people just don’t feel comfortable with breastfeeding in public. Even though I found it silly, it didn’t annoy me really. After becoming a parent, the ridiculousness of taking offense to breastfeeding annoys me to no end. Seriously people, you’ll see more cleavage walking past Victoria’s Secret on your mall walk then you’ll see while someone is feeding their baby. Get over it.

6.People who talk about their pets incessantly like they are their babies

I’ve never been a super huge animal person, but if other people want to compare and treat kids as a pet and talk about them as such who am I to resent them? Well, after having kids, I find the behavior a lot more annoying. And please do not compare your animal to my child. Totally not the same.

7.Phone calls over text

Talking on the phone is not my jam, but if I had information to communicate I had always been more than happy to give a quick phone call. Now, I basically send all phone calls straight to voicemail. I pretty much would like everyone I know to ask them before calling me: “Is this information that could be conveyed via a text message?” If the answer is yes, then please send a text. It will be much more pleasant for both of us to not have to carry on a conversation while my children yell in the background.

8.Glitter

I suppose the reason I never real took issue with glitter before having children is because I didn’t really have to encounter it very often in my daily life. In the adult world, very few things are festooned with glitter for glitter’s sake. Unfortunately I have learned that in the world of children glitter is on EVERYTHING. Literally everything. And subsequently it is all over my house as well. Glitter is most definitely the herpes of craft supplies and I wouldn’t be particularly sad if it no longer existed.

I identify myself on this POST ! Life changed drastically after having kids, I hope you identify also on this post from my blog about Things that become annoying after having kids

 

 

“HURRY SON”….hurry….

“Hurry up,” “Faster”Yes, I tell my son to move fast without hesitation, question or guilt. “Move fast” are two words that have been ingrained in my mind since I myself was a kid, and thank goodness moving fast is one of life’s most important abilities that many modern parents, I think, are dropping the ball about when it comes to teaching our kids life skills.

No, we don’t want our children rushing through life without enjoyment. No, we don’t want our kids to be unappreciative of the present. But, do I believe we can enjoy life and be mindful at a faster pace? Yes. 

The faster you move, the more you can fit into your day. It’s pure math.

But how can you enjoy anything if you’re just moving fast? You’re teaching your kids to rush through life?!

Moving fast helps us cope with the ongoing issue of so much to do, so little time that every single mom I know deals with. I load the dishwasher fast. I dress fast. I put on my seatbelt fast. I fix my bed fast. I refuse to waste precious time on things that matter less than more important stuff, and it’s a strategic skill I’m trying to teach my son every day as they grow up.

I tell my son to “hurry up and move fast” for his own future survival in a demanding world. “If you make decisions fast, get dressed quickly and don’t waste time on unimportant stuff throughout your day like getting out of the car, then you’ll have more time to play and spend quality time on things you actually like to do.” 

The more I train him to move quickly, the better prepared he will be for life’s swift-moving and overabundant to-do’s when they’re adults. They’ll be better equipped to handle a busy, full life with ongoing family/work/personal responsibilities than the kids who were raised being able to take their sweet time getting shoes on back in the day.

Am I wrong?

But how can you enjoy anything if you’re just moving fast? You’re teaching your kids to rush through life?! I’m glad you asked. And while this may not be an answer everyone likes, it’s true: Not every single tiny thing in life requires pure and uninterrupted enjoyment—some things just need to get done and be done.

Do we really need to’ enjoy the act of brushing our teeth? I’ll argue no. In fact, I’ll argue that moving quickly requires extra concentration on the immediate task at hand so that we may do it quickly, without distraction, and move on to the next thing. 

Now excuse me, but my time here is up. It’s been a blast. But I’ve got a dishwasher to unload. 

This article originally appeared on Mom.me

THIS USES DON’T INVOLVE A BABY 


12 uses for baby wipes that don’t involve a baby 
Baby wipes have many more uses than just for cleaning babies. 
Here’s why you should have a packet on hand at all times.

1 – Baby wipes can be great make-up removers. They are made for use on skin, so they are safe, plus they are brilliant at getting rid of mascara.

2 – They are also great for removing make-up on clothing. If you manage to get foundation on your top, or a bit of lipstick on a collar, use baby wipes to remove the mess.  They will also remove deodorant marks too.

3 – If you are dying your hair and get a bit of excess dye on your skin, use baby wipes to clean up the excess.

4 – They are also great for getting rid of frizz and flyaway hair. Just wipe softly over your hair and be amazed!

5 – Give your shoes a rub over with a baby wipe and they will clean up lovely.

6 – Have the grandkids been visiting and left grubby marks on the floor? Even worse, it is crayon? Try baby wipes to get it off.

7- They are great for wiping down and cleaning electronic devices… your mobile phone or tablet, your remote controls etc. We all know how dirty they can get. 

8 – You can also take them shopping and give the shopping trolley handles a clean down easily with them too.

9 – Take them camping or when travelling. They are great at an airport when you need a refresher between flights, or camping when you don’t have access to a shower but need to feel cleaner.

10 – In the car they can be used to clean the dash and seat belt straps with ease.

11 – They are good to soak up spills too, even on your carpets.

12 – Take them to the beach. They are great for getting rid of sand from feet and other places you don’t want it.

This article originally appeared on Practical Parenting