10 Things I Wish People Would Stop Doing Around My Kids

There are a few things I wish other parents would stop doing when it comes to my kids—or at the very least in front of them. With some things, when I clearly know the intent, it’s much easier to let it go, but other times I find myself digging deep to extend grace (if I’m honest there have been times when I’ve dug deep and come up with nothing).

Still, I’m not here to judge. I’m just here to encourage us to look within and to be mindful of the things we are doing and saying, not just when it comes to our own kids. I’m sure I’ve done something to result in an eye-roll from another mom. So while I’m asking you to please stop talking like a sailor in front of my children who happen to be right behind you in the grocery store checkout line, I’m also doing my best to teach my children about our own family values and expectations and that we don’t necessarily have to like or agree with everything someone does to respect them or be kind.

1. Let their kids use social media

Apparently my tween is the only one who doesn’t have Instagram or Snapchat (hey, I don’t even have Snapchat)—which means I’m being totally unreasonable here. I’m OK with that, but is there anyone out there who can give me a (virtual) high-five?

2. (Well-meaning strangers) offer my kids snacks

You thought the tears were bad, now just wait until I say, “No thank you.”

My little one is crying and you wanted to help so you waved your magic wand, I mean lollipop. Actually, you did ask me if she could have it but she was right there listening and watching that gleaming piece of candy move through the air. You thought the tears were bad, now just wait until I say, “No thank you.”

3. Ask me for a favor related to your kid

Perhaps the only thing worse than my child putting me on the spot is another parent putting me on the spot—in front of both our kids.

4. Drop F-bombs

Given I’ve got a 3-year-old who occasionally moonlights as a parrot, I try to be more careful about what I say around her. While I can control what I say, I can’t control what you say (Note: I’m not just talking about the occasional drop but rather a continuous stream of profanity as a part of your regular dialogue.). And there are some words that I don’t want to become a part of her increasingly expansive vocabulary.

5. Be mean

Making cruel, harsh and/or judgmental comments about parents or children or people in general just isn’t cool nor is it funny. When you pick apart the traits (physical or personality) of another person (even if they’re on TV), support negative stereotypes and engage in other forms of word vomit, I’m forced to question the value of our relationship when it comes to my family. Or maybe I question why I came to this restaurant and ask to be seated somewhere else. In our world kindness rules. You can totally, “sit with us.” Just be nice, OK?

6. Tell me how to discipline them

Lucky for you they’re my kids, which means you don’t need to worry yourself with how they should be disciplined.

If you’re coming from a good place and you’d like to share your thoughts in private, then please go right ahead. But I’d rather you not tell me that all parenting dilemmas would be solved if I would spank my kids or ground them or do whatever it is you do. Lucky for you they’re my kids, which means you don’t need to worry yourself with how they should be disciplined. Have you watched the news lately? There are greater fights for you to fight.

7. Make a negative or snarky comment about their appearance

I’m trying to raise girls that are comfortable in their own skin (and hair), and listening to you go on and on about how their hair is so coarse and how it must take forever and be so difficult to comb isn’t helping. We don’t need you to pity us or belittle us. We’re learning to work what God gave us and love it too. You don’t have to love it, but as the saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say … “

8. Disrespect boundaries

Nope. If my kid doesn’t want to hug you they don’t have to. It doesn’t matter whether you are a relative or a friend; if you ask and they decline, that’s it. And please refrain from the manipulative fake cries or declarations that you aren’t going to give them a treat anymore. Keep your treat. They have a right to speak up when it comes to their bodies.

9. Gossip

How is gossiping about someone’s marriage woes or troubled teen over coffee actually helping them? Moreover how is it helping my kids, who are indirectly being invited into an (inappropriate) adult conversation? Children are children, not miniature grown-ups. So please, let them be little. Once again “If you don’t have anything nice to say … “

10. Insist that (insert magical childhood character) doesn’t exist.

Just because you’ve stopped believing doesn’t mean my children have to. In my house we’re holding on to the magic of childhood for as long as we can, and for us that includes penning letters to Santa and putting that lost tooth under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy. (Also: Unlike our fictitious favorites, our God is real. We don’t attack your faith and ask that you please refrain from attacking ours.).

Is there anything you wish other parents would stop doing around your kids or you’re making more of an effort to stop doing?

Via Mom.me

8 Things That Become Annoying After Becoming a Parent

Before becoming a parent, I probably could have come up with a pretty decent list of things that annoyed me. Things like people chewing with their mouths open and slow drivers in the fast lane mostly just the obvious offenders that annoy most other people too. But since become a parent? Well, let’s just say that the list of annoyances has grown exponentially, though most of the things that make the list are things that would’ve been no big deal in the pre-parent days. Here are lists of things that have become annoying since becoming a parent.

1. The UPS guy who rings the doorbell

Pre-kids, the UPS guy ringing my doorbell was a neutral event in my day. Actually, it was probably an enjoyable event in my day; because it meant some fun item or another awaited me in a package. Now I sort of want to punch the UPS guy (or anyone for that matter) who dares to ring my door bell and wake my baby from his nap.

2. The fact that Costco doesn’t open until 10:00 AM

Before parenthood, I rarely tackled errands before 10:00 AM—because, sleeping in on Saturdays. But now? 10:00 AM rolls around and I’ve probably been up for four hours. I mean, seriously? The day is halfway over by 10:00, Costco. The parents of this nation need economy size boxes of baby wipes and 3-packs of milk and we need it before 10:00 AM. Perhaps I should start a petition.

3. The chatty checker at the grocery store

OK, this was a little annoying before kids as well, but after kids it’s on another level. I’m sorry chatty checker, I really don’t want to hear your life story and I definitely don’t want to tell you mine while my kid is making a mess. I don’t even care. Not even a little bit.

4. Any and all lines

Waiting in lines is never a super fun task for anyone, but it had always just been a part of life. But waiting in lines with kids can be downright hellish. And waiting in line behind someone whose club card isn’t working or who can’t find a coupon while my kid is crying doing even get me started.

5.People who get offended by public breastfeeding

Before becoming a parent, I recognized that some people just don’t feel comfortable with breastfeeding in public. Even though I found it silly, it didn’t annoy me really. After becoming a parent, the ridiculousness of taking offense to breastfeeding annoys me to no end. Seriously people, you’ll see more cleavage walking past Victoria’s Secret on your mall walk then you’ll see while someone is feeding their baby. Get over it.

6.People who talk about their pets incessantly like they are their babies

I’ve never been a super huge animal person, but if other people want to compare and treat kids as a pet and talk about them as such who am I to resent them? Well, after having kids, I find the behavior a lot more annoying. And please do not compare your animal to my child. Totally not the same.

7.Phone calls over text

Talking on the phone is not my jam, but if I had information to communicate I had always been more than happy to give a quick phone call. Now, I basically send all phone calls straight to voicemail. I pretty much would like everyone I know to ask them before calling me: “Is this information that could be conveyed via a text message?” If the answer is yes, then please send a text. It will be much more pleasant for both of us to not have to carry on a conversation while my children yell in the background.

8.Glitter

I suppose the reason I never real took issue with glitter before having children is because I didn’t really have to encounter it very often in my daily life. In the adult world, very few things are festooned with glitter for glitter’s sake. Unfortunately I have learned that in the world of children glitter is on EVERYTHING. Literally everything. And subsequently it is all over my house as well. Glitter is most definitely the herpes of craft supplies and I wouldn’t be particularly sad if it no longer existed.

I identify myself on this POST ! Life changed drastically after having kids, I hope you identify also on this post from my blog about Things that become annoying after having kids

 

 

7 Ways to maintain your marriage after a baby

7 Ways to maintain your marriage after a baby

Even the strongest bonds can be tested when the excitement of a brand new baby gives way to sleep deprivation, self-doubt and lack of communication. Want to keep your marriage strong as the two of you become a family? Here’s how:

  1. Split up

Wait, what? One of the most important things you can do for each other as a couple is to go your separate ways. It takes effort and a bit of planning, but continuing to pursue interests and friendships on your own makes you a better partner—and parent. But who really feels like meeting friends for a movie after a long day of caring for a baby? You may have to start small when your baby is young, especially if you’re breastfeeding and can’t be more than a feeding away. Take a walk on your own, escape to the backyard to call your BFF or just take a nap. Likewise, try and make sure your partner has time to pursue his interests as well. It won’t always be easy, but it’s important in the long run.

  1. Put your relationship first

Newborns put you into full-on survival mode, which makes it hard to take care of yourself, let alone your spouse. But the foundation of your new little family is the bond you’ve created with each other—and small steps you take to be thoughtful to each other pay off massively in the long run. Pouring that third cup of coffee? Pour one for your spouse, too. Think about how the baby affects each of you in different ways and acknowledge this. Dads, don’t use breastfeeding or “bonding” with mom as an excuse to back away from your spouse. She needs you now more than ever and she needs to feel that strong foundation underneath her feet.

  1. Coffee

Invest in a really good coffee pot. Enough said.

4. Laugh

Even when nothing seems funny—projectile spit up, overflowing diaper pail, nasty case of diaper rash—laughter is one of the most important things that can keep your marriage strong. Laughing together after a particularly challenging day helps you both stay sane. So put on that favorite funny DVD and share some laughs, even if you have to watch it half an hour at a time.

  1. Flirt

Seriously, who feels like getting busy when your boobs are leaking and you’re still wearing maternity undies? But those simmering urges might never come back if you don’t try and keep the fire stoked. Have an honest conversation about when you might be ready for more than a peck on the cheek, and make a pact to remember how you made the baby in the first place. A kiss in the kitchen, a hand lingering on your shoulder when he takes the baby for bath time, a wink across the room—it all keeps the fires warm, and helps you see each other as more than roommates. And when you’re ready to bring sexy back? The journey isn’t that far.

  1. Divide and conquer

Until you’ve had a baby, you just can’t explain it—babies are time sucks. It’s easy to think that you can run errands and get everything done just as easily with baby in tow, because they just sleep all day, right? Comparing your to-do lists and consolidating errands throughout the week takes a load off both of you, leaving more time for playing with your baby and enjoying your family.

  1. Listen

Whether your relationship was relatively new when your baby came into the picture or you’ve been married for a decade, listening is one of the most important things you can do to stay close. So even when your baby-frazzled mind can’t remember if you showered this morning, you both need to have at least a few minutes out of each day for real communication.

Babies are all sorts of awesome—and all sorts of exhausting. But keeping your relationship strong will result in a big payoff down the road. Like when you have a teenager.

 

Let’s do it, Let’s take the trip 


When I think on my almost 3 years of parenting and the times we’ve traveled as a family even on short gateways, I feel satisfied It’s not just about “being on vacation,” is about the various positive ways of travel that affects us, both individually and as a family unit.Here are some of those ways:

1. Traveling puts your family at the center.

Even the closest of families can have a hard time finding quality time to spend together. Getting away from work, school,  schedules, and of course I can not forget to mention housework plus other responsibilities. Probably not all the family time will be pleasant, but traveling together forces us as a family time, for better or for worse especially with toddlers and little kids sometimes is hectic and exhausted, but the idea is to find the good side and the fun with our reality. 

2. Leaving home gets everyone out of their comfort routine. 

Vacations can be relaxing and fun, but they’re also good ways to step out of our routines . Sleeping in a different bed, eating differebt foods, meeting new people even simple things can be good for us. Experiences new things together forms bonds and memories.

3. Seeing how other people live and understand different cultures. 

The best part of traveling is experiencing different ways of life. International travel is especially good to perceive different cultural horizons, but even domestic trips can help us to see the diversity we have here in our own country. 

4. Experiencing new things with all our senses builds strong memories.

We can look at photographs, but nothing compares to actually smelling the Redwoods, feeling the ocean touching your toes, or just feeling the smell of a different place. When we travel, we see, hear, smell, taste, and touch things we normally don’t. We build memories that last, and experiences as a family become shared memories. 

Keep in mind that our kids will love to recall places, when they have been, and they’ll often mention that certain scents or songs remind them of someplace they have traveled before.

I fully advice to my friends to always take the trip. I haven’t regretted it even that my son is little, and my budget could be minimum, I always try to find the way to travel with him and I can not wait for the next gateway ….