8 Things That Become Annoying After Becoming a Parent

Before becoming a parent, I probably could have come up with a pretty decent list of things that annoyed me. Things like people chewing with their mouths open and slow drivers in the fast lane mostly just the obvious offenders that annoy most other people too. But since become a parent? Well, let’s just say that the list of annoyances has grown exponentially, though most of the things that make the list are things that would’ve been no big deal in the pre-parent days. Here are lists of things that have become annoying since becoming a parent.

1. The UPS guy who rings the doorbell

Pre-kids, the UPS guy ringing my doorbell was a neutral event in my day. Actually, it was probably an enjoyable event in my day; because it meant some fun item or another awaited me in a package. Now I sort of want to punch the UPS guy (or anyone for that matter) who dares to ring my door bell and wake my baby from his nap.

2. The fact that Costco doesn’t open until 10:00 AM

Before parenthood, I rarely tackled errands before 10:00 AM—because, sleeping in on Saturdays. But now? 10:00 AM rolls around and I’ve probably been up for four hours. I mean, seriously? The day is halfway over by 10:00, Costco. The parents of this nation need economy size boxes of baby wipes and 3-packs of milk and we need it before 10:00 AM. Perhaps I should start a petition.

3. The chatty checker at the grocery store

OK, this was a little annoying before kids as well, but after kids it’s on another level. I’m sorry chatty checker, I really don’t want to hear your life story and I definitely don’t want to tell you mine while my kid is making a mess. I don’t even care. Not even a little bit.

4. Any and all lines

Waiting in lines is never a super fun task for anyone, but it had always just been a part of life. But waiting in lines with kids can be downright hellish. And waiting in line behind someone whose club card isn’t working or who can’t find a coupon while my kid is crying doing even get me started.

5.People who get offended by public breastfeeding

Before becoming a parent, I recognized that some people just don’t feel comfortable with breastfeeding in public. Even though I found it silly, it didn’t annoy me really. After becoming a parent, the ridiculousness of taking offense to breastfeeding annoys me to no end. Seriously people, you’ll see more cleavage walking past Victoria’s Secret on your mall walk then you’ll see while someone is feeding their baby. Get over it.

6.People who talk about their pets incessantly like they are their babies

I’ve never been a super huge animal person, but if other people want to compare and treat kids as a pet and talk about them as such who am I to resent them? Well, after having kids, I find the behavior a lot more annoying. And please do not compare your animal to my child. Totally not the same.

7.Phone calls over text

Talking on the phone is not my jam, but if I had information to communicate I had always been more than happy to give a quick phone call. Now, I basically send all phone calls straight to voicemail. I pretty much would like everyone I know to ask them before calling me: “Is this information that could be conveyed via a text message?” If the answer is yes, then please send a text. It will be much more pleasant for both of us to not have to carry on a conversation while my children yell in the background.

8.Glitter

I suppose the reason I never real took issue with glitter before having children is because I didn’t really have to encounter it very often in my daily life. In the adult world, very few things are festooned with glitter for glitter’s sake. Unfortunately I have learned that in the world of children glitter is on EVERYTHING. Literally everything. And subsequently it is all over my house as well. Glitter is most definitely the herpes of craft supplies and I wouldn’t be particularly sad if it no longer existed.

I identify myself on this POST ! Life changed drastically after having kids, I hope you identify also on this post from my blog about Things that become annoying after having kids

 

 

This Popular Sleep Aid May Be Harmful to Kids

There’s no quick fix that gets kids to sleep sooner, better, deeper. But melatonin comes pretty close.While medical experts don’t have much bad to say to adults about using melatonin, which isn’t a pharmaceutical rather a health supplement, some are concerned when it comes to regular use in children.

A recent New York Times Well blog post reported that while a lot of parents have given melatonin for their kids because it works—doctors don’t actually know whether it’s doing harm in the long run. Children’s brains are still growing and developing, and melatonin is a synthetic form of a hormone the pineal gland produces, and which signals to the brain it’s time for sleep.

“I think we just don’t know what the potential long-term effects are, particularly when you’re talking about young children,” said Dr. Judith Owens, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Boston Children’s Hospital. “Parents really need to understand that there are potential risks.”

Research isn’t conclusive but some suggests that it could have effects not just on the brain but on other systems developing in children: reproductive, cardiovascular, immune and metabolic.

Melatonin has known possible side effects for adults, including “headaches, dizziness and daytime grogginess,” the Times reports. That last one is what makes it a sleep aid and also dangerous for drivers who might use it. The hormone-like substance, which is also found in foods like barley and walnuts, can also interfere with medications for blood pressure and diabetes.

When researchers looked into consistency across melatonin products, they found that 71 percent of their samples were at least 10 percent off from the written dose.

Doctors who treat sleep disorders in children have long known parents turn frequently turn to melatonin to help their kids with sleep issues, often picking up the pills at a health food store and not telling their own doctors—a mistake.

“I rarely see a family come in with a child with insomnia who hasn’t tried melatonin,” Owns said. “I would say at least 75 percent of the time when they come in to see us” at the sleep clinic, “they’re either on melatonin or they’ve tried it in the past.”

For those who give it to their children, Owens recommends letting their child’s doctor know. She also said the pills should be picked up from a reputable source. Because they’re not regulated by the Food and Drug Adminstration, there’s no way of know how much of the useful ingredient is in each pill. Buy “pharmaceutical grade,” which tend to have “more precise dosing levels.”

When researchers looked into consistency across melatonin products, they found that 71 percent of their samples were at least 10 percent off from the written dose. In fact—and this is where parents, particularly, should be cautious—some contained nearly 5 times the dosage written on the label.

So while there’s still no silver bullet for kids and sleep—except for lots of exercise, predictable nighttime routines and early (yes, early!) bedtimes—the melatonin temptation should be met with caution and some medical support.

Contributions on this post via Mom.me

New School Year and the Come back To The Routine

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The lazy days of summer are coming to the end, together with the long stretches of daylight, lemonade, grilling and pick-up games outside. As the season winds down, you may take a final getaway weekend with your family. Or you may just stay home and squeeze every bit of time before school starts.

Either way, there’s a good chance that your children are off their normal sleep schedule by now. That’s completely understandable, but it’s also something that needs to be remedied before the school bell rings. So I want to help equip you to get your children back into an age-appropriate and healthy sleep routine so that they wake up bright-eyed and alert for that first day of school. It’s not really an impossible task. It just takes a little forethought and a few days to implement changes.

You can shift your child’s bedtime back to the appropriate time for school nights either gradually or in cold way, you choose. If you do it gradually, then shift it in 30-minute increments over as many days as needed. Just do the math. Most elementary school-aged children need to be in bed by 7:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. to get the sleep they need each night.

Follow these recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics for total hours of sleep per-school and school-aged kids should get by age:

  • Children 3 to 5 years of age should sleep 10 to 13 hours daily to promote optimal health. That includes naps.
  • Children 6 to 12 years of age should sleep 9 to 12 hours daily.
  • Teenagers 13 to 18 years of age should sleep 8 to 10 hours daily.

If your child shows some resistance to going to bed earlier, wake him up in the morning at his new school day wake up time. If you prefer to go cold turkey, I recommend starting this process in the morning by waking your child up at his new school day wake-up time. That evening put him in bed at the appropriate time so he can get the recommended amount of sleep after a calm bedtime routine. He will be a little more tired and willing to go to sleep at his new bedtime.

The Benefit of Physical Activity for Sleep:

Getting physical activity each day is important for our sleep. During the school year it may get pushed aside when homework piles up. As weather permits, you can take a brisk walk around the neighborhood for 30 minutes after dinner or play catch. Just be sure your child is fitting in at least 30 minutes of exercise, ideally outside. This will help her go to sleep as well as improving her physical health.

However, while rough play – like wrestling on the bed for fun – is great for some kids, bring it to an end an hour before bedtime because it naturally stimulates your child and will keep her up longer. The same goes for strenuous physical activity. Choose puzzles, building toys, reading or other quiet activities in the hour before bedtime.

Create a Soothing Bedtime Routine:

Trust me; children thrive on routine even if they resist it at times. Sometimes we jettison our routines in the summer and need to put some structure back in place as school draws near.

Your child’s evening routine actually begins at dinnertime. Young children digest their food more slowly than adults and will need to eat two hours before bedtime in order to sleep soundly. After dinner you may clean up together and do something as a family.

Structuring your school-aged child’s soothing bedtime routine can be as simple as choosing three to four things that should happen every night in the same order right before your child goes to bed. This may include a bath or shower; brushing teeth; laying out clothes, shoes and the child’s backpack for the next day; and snuggles, along with a book or a story.

Depending on their age, your child may enjoy some independent reading time before you say goodnight to him. Just be sure to brush teeth and put pajamas on before you let him start to read in bed. Show your growing child your love and affection with snuggles, hugs and kisses. Turn off the light at bedtime and say goodnight.

The idea is to find a routine that suits your family and stick to it. Of course you will change it as your child grows, but don’t change it every week.

Make sure your kids are well-rested for the start of the school year so they can perform at their best.

2T vs 24 Months, What to Pick?

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If you’ve got a 2-year-old on your hands, you’ve probably reached a mommy milestone: the one where you wonder what the heck the difference is between a size 24-month garment in the baby department and the same basic garment that’s a size 2T in the toddler department. After all, 24 months is 2 years, right? (We’re pretty confident we’ve got the math right on that.) So why do both sizes exist — and which one should you buy for your child?

That all depends. Is your 24-month-old a baby or a toddler? Still confused? As far as fashion is concerned, if your child is crawling and wears a diaper, you’ve got a baby. If your child is walking and potty-trained, you’ve got a toddler on your hands. The difference between a size 24 months and a size 2T takes this into consideration to accommodate your child’s (and your) needs. “Babies come in all shapes and sizes, so some 12-month-olds could be wearing clothes that are size 18-24 months,” says Emily Meyer, co-founder and chief creative officer of Tea Collection. “That’s why the sizing for 24 months and 2T is different. The silhouette for 24-month sizes is rounder — ideal for a healthy, growing baby of any age who might still be crawling. Size 2T clothes, on the other hand, are intended for early walkers. The silhouette is less round and more upright to allow for easier movement as your little toddler starts to really get around.”

The differences between the two sizes also take moms into account. “Expect to find extra room for diapers and often snaps inside the legs to make changing easy,” says Mellicia Marx, owner of Poplin Style Direction, a personal style service that works with kids. “A toddler, according to brand logic, is likely potty-trained and no longer needs extra room for diapers. It’s also worth keeping in mind that kids’ clothes are usually sized in age ranges that end in the highest month. For instance, 24-month items are generally made for 18- to 24-month-old babies, and 2T is intended for 2- to 3-year-old kids.

Another difference? Clothes that are marked 24 months are usually more “babyish “in terms of style than those that are 2T. “If you prefer your little one to wear a miniature version of grownup clothes, you may find more selection in the 2T world,” says Marx.

 

 

Are You This Lucky?

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There is one rule in most situations to don’t compare yourself to others. But as moms, that’s almost impossible not to do, we now spend a majority of our time with other parents and their kids. I often think to myself, is she just a better mom than me, or does she have easier kids?

Of course, I know the answer to this question. All children come with their own set of rules, and I’m doing the best I can, but it’s still hard because our children can be a reflection of us to the outside world.

These are the moms some wouldn’t mind trading places with for one day:

  1. The Moms whose Kids Sit in the Shopping Cart

The grocery store is practically handing us an excellent ticket when they offer carts that look like race cars. It should be a toddler version of someone letting me drive their Ferrari but my kid make me want to drive off a precipice as I push that ridiculously enormous object and here comes another car cruising towards me, those damn carts are so huge we have to knock down all the displays to get what we want most of the times.

  1. Moms whose Kids Hold Their Hand When Walking Down the Street

These are the moments I apologize to the parenting gods for ever judging anyone who put their child on a leash. I want to handcuff mine most of the times. Even when he does hold my hand walking, it’s a little vague; his arm is in a constant shake motion.

  1. The Moms whose Kids Brush Their Hair and Teeth

Just ask my kid sometimes every morning is a mission to do it, he is little and he needs my help but even that he wants to make it himself and is the constant fight every morning. It makes no difference what flavor the toothpaste is or what character appears on their toothbrush.

  1. The Moms whose Kids Leave Places in peace

Everywhere we go somewhere and it’s time to get back into the car to leave my kid act like I’m tearing him away from Disney World. No matter where we are, chaos ensues when it’s time to go. I think I won’t take him to Disney World until at least their mid-30s, when he establishes some self-control.

Needless to say, these are things I never imagined would be an issue before I was a mother. I had no idea my child would complain about the simplest tasks, he also knows the right moment to plant a kiss on my cheek or bring a smile on my face, but I also have come to embrace the chaos, and laugh each day because I survive the unexpected but even the adversity I consider myself a lucky mom.

Enforcing bed time to kids

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I am a stickler for a strict bedtime for my kid  specially during the week  since he was a baby because I think nothing is worse than greeting a lot of cranks attitudes  in the morning and specially to maintain a routine and for my mental health is also an advantage.

Now, a new study published in the journal BMC Public Health finds that enforcing a bedtime during the week means kids are more likely to meet established sleep guidelines, which benefits their overall health and well-being.

Researchers at Public Health Ontario, Canada looked at self-reported data from more than 1,600 parents with at least one kid younger than 18 and found that 94 percent of parents encouraged a specific bedtime. Meanwhile, 84 percent of parents went a step further and enforced bedtime rules. These parents were 59 percent more likely to have kids who met sleep guidelines on weekdays.

Dr. Heather Manson, senior author of the study, explains the different between encouraging and enforcing bedtimes, saying: “We found that ‘encouragement’ as a parental support was less effective for both weekend and weekday sleeps. Enforcement of rules around bedtimes had a significant impact, but only on weekdays. We can conclude that parents enforcing a bedtime on the weekday could help support their child to achieve sufficient sleep.”

Manson added, “Sleep is increasingly being recognized as an important determinant of health, and an integral component of healthy living for children, integrated with other behaviors such as physical activity and sedentary time. In the family context, parents’ support behaviors towards sleep could play an important role in their child’s health.”

 

10 ITEMS TO FEEL LESS STRESS WHEN YOU ARE TRAVELING WITH KIDS

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Traveling can be a problem sometimes with young kids. Traveling by train, by plane, by boat, or by car, most of us are hoping to spend the travel adventure with only minor injuries and the mental faculties not affected.

I have flown with my kid myself, I am familiar with this even that my kid is what you call an “easy traveler,” nothing promises me to make the family vacations trouble-free, but there are some things that can make it more relaxed.

1.KIDS CAR STORAGE BOX

Packed their toys and anything they want to bring for the trip, it will make them important on how they are part of this adventure, this storage box is easy to carry and spacious.

 

2. TODDLER BACKPACK WITH WHEELS

A carry-on full of things to keep them busy during the trip since they’re a little on the small side will give you a relax for a period of time, involve them on how to pack their suitcase and let them feel important and part of the trip.

 

3. WATER WOW

They’re mess-free, easy to refill, and can be used over and over. You fill the pen with water, and your child uses it to draw on and color the pages of these books, revealing colors and patterns as they wet the pictures. Once they dry, they go back to white and can be used again.

4. TODDLER TRAVEL NECK

I always keep looking in my rear-view mirror to see if my kid is already sleeping in the car seat when I take long distances, most of the time his head hanging in a position that makes his own neck hurt, place this pillow around their neck when they’re still awake, and they will be more comfortable when they fall sleep on the route.

5.ON THE GO POTTY SEAT

If you are traveling with your kids in the transition of being diapers free, do not risk traumatizing them into a regression after they fall into a public toilet. This seat folds flat and can be kept in your purse or diaper bag in a small bag.

6.COZY KIDS HEADPHONES

These are more comfortable and easier to keep on than regular headphones, my son is not on the age to get some of these but I found them amazing to keep them comfort specially traveling in a plane.

7.SNACK AND DRINK CUP

This genius invention is a drinking cup, and it holds snacks. They can dump the food in the main part of the cup, and their beverage is stored below. I found it amazing.

8.PAMPERS BIBSTERS

Getting everything that is disposable when you’re traveling is a plus for your stress free, these disposable bibs are practical and then you throw them with the rest of your trash.

9.SPOT IT NUMBERS AND SHAPES

Small toys and games are so convenient when traveling, is a fun way to pass the time and have some fun.

10. MAGNETIC WOODEN BLOCK SET

This toy for babies and toddlers is entertain and fun during the travel time, is perfect on the go going with you in your purse or diaper bag.

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Swim lessons, if a child starts crying what do you do?

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As a parent there is a long list of things you should do to help your crying child and the swim program that you’re at. We are going to first go through what a parent should do to keep their child from crying or reduce the tear time to a minimum. To prevent children crying at swim lessons:

  • Mentally prepare your child for the swimming experience

When you sign up for swim lessons inform your child that they will be participating in swim lessons. Let them know in clear terms that they will be learn how to go underwater like you do in the bathtub or shower, and will practice moving through the water safely.

  • Sing the songs from swim lessons, and use the same swim specific location language

If you can, get a hold of the swim lesson program’s song sheets or training guide to learn the swim skill language they use at that location. When you are at home, in the car, or playing outside sing those same songs and try to use similar descriptive language to talk about swimming.

  • Visit the pool before swim lessons

Do everything you can to spend some time together at the swimming pool or location that you will have your swim lessons. The best idea is to get in the water with your child and walk them through getting in the water from the side with assistance and blowing bubbles.

  • Constantly offer support and encouragement in the days before the lessons, immediately before the class at the pool, and after a lesson

Parents are the choreographers of their children’s emotional state. You should present a positive welcoming and happy outward demeanor when you are describing swimming and swim lessons. Tell your child how much fun they are going to have at the pool. Remind them about the fun things that you did together at the pool when you went swimming before the lessons.

  • Parents: acknowledge you child’s fear, but don’t suggest WHY they are afraid

We never want to give the child a reason to be scared. Avoid phrases like, “Are you scared because the water is cold?” or “Are you crying because you’re scared of the teacher?” Instead, explain that there is nothing to fear about swimming lessons.

  • Parents: Hand off your child physically to the swim instructor

Parents of crying children, if they are still leaking tears but not outright breaking down in crying fits, and if you feel they are ready to start their lesson, YOU need to physically walk them to the swim instructor and place their hand in the hands of the swim instructor. You need to do this physical and deliberate act. It conveys trust and ownership.

By walking your child to the swim instructor and placing their hand in the swim instructor’s you are physically telling the child some important things:

1) The parent trusts the swim instructor.

2) The swim instructor is an authority the parent believes in.

3) The parent is passing authority over the child to the swim instructor and they are to be listened to.

Parents! DO NOT force the swim instructor to chase down your child and physically pull them off you. You are destroying the implicit trust in the swim instructor in the child’s eyes.
What should parents do when their child starts crying during a swim lesson:

  • Parents: Do not stare worriedly at your child from the observation area. Very important!!!

When the child is in swim lessons sometimes they will realize you are not with them and burst into tears in a flurry of separation anxiety. This is a dramatic case of a parent equally anxious about their child in swimming lessons conveying quite overtly how uncomfortable and scared they are. Because you are the child’s parent they will gravitate to your mood and emotions and respond accordingly.  Break eye contact or do something else.

• If the child is looking at the parent repeatedly reaching out for them the parent should remove themselves from the child’s sight.

Yup, go hide! Most swim lesson facilities have a secret spot where you can see the classes and watch your child, but the child either can’t see you or doesn’t realize that you’re in view.

Remember that the parent is not the focus of the swim lesson, the child is and the swim instructors will better engage the child when the parent is not also a member of the class.

Some reasons a child cry’s at swimming lessons: 

What causes fear of the water?

• Being forced into water activities with no preparation or expectation given in a hostile or unhelpful environment
• Being raised by parents that are themselves afraid of the water and have knowingly or unknowingly communicated this fear to their children
• Having had a traumatic water accident, or witnessing one
Remember, children LEARN to be afraid of the water.

Parents! DO NOT DO THESE THINGS

  • Stop lessons totally because child cried in the beginning.
  • Be scared for your child. All your anxiety to be picked up and amplified by your child. When you are nervous or uncertain, your child will pick up on all the unspoken and subtle body language and between the lines words you’re using to avoid participating.
  • Offer payoffs. “We’ll get ice cream for your good behavior today at swim lessons.” This reinforces a negative association with swimming lessons and the learning process.

Enrolling your child in swim lessons is an excellent choice. It is important to learn how to at least know the basics of how to swim. USA swimming through their Make a Splash arm has produced these interesting facts:

– Drowning is the 2nd leading cause of childhood accidental death
– Ten people drown each day in the U.S.
– Seven out of ten African-American children cannot swim
– Six out of ten Hispanic children cannot swim
– 40% of Caucasian children have low or no swimming ability
– Children from non-swimming households are eight times more likely to be
at-risk of drowning
– Participation in formal swim lessons can reduce the likelihood of childhood drowning by 88%.
As a prevention measure, swim lessons are a great idea.

 

Motherhood And The Tendency To Alcohol

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Mothers have unique challenges that can aggravate drinking issues in those with susceptibility. However, it is important not to blame external circumstances exclusively for leading mother’s to drink heavily, also are also biological and physiological factors at play.

There are many challenges and blessings of motherhood that are not unique to alcoholics, as other mothers experience them.  However, it is important to acknowledge them and support other mothers in finding strategies to address the challenges in order to enjoy the blessings:

Challenges:

  • It can be challenging to find time for self-care without the support of loved ones, as an example alone time, massage, exercise, nap, read)
  • Mothers may experience “mommy guilt” for leaving their babies in order to take care of themselves.
  • Hormones are unstable during pregnancy and after, especially if a mother is breastfeeding.  Mood and energy can be effected and difficult to regulate.
  • The extreme change in routine with a baby can throw off the recovery plan a mother may have had previously, one of the most difficult stages in life.
  • HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired) is an abbreviation for possible causes that lead to decline.  These 4 triggers are sometimes hard to avoid as a new mother and it is important to stay aware of how vulnerable they can leave you to fading.
  • Mental health issues as anxiety, and depression can be intensified during early motherhood for reasons that include: stopping psychotropic medications due to pregnancy, hormone variations, sleep deprivation, mood issues, stress.  For those women who used to drink to self-medicate mood issues in the past this can be a difficult and causing time to learn to handle without turning to alcohol.
  • Loss of freedom:  drinking alcohol can be an escape and lead one to forget about their responsibilities for a short time. Parenting can lead some to feel locked and trapped.
  • Mothers put their child first and this can lead them to ignore recovery suggestions and to avoid taking the time to fit their recovery program into their new busy life.
  • Motherhood is continuous in a non stop routine. Alcohol can offer a quick escape and sober mothers need to find other options that may require support from others.
  • Marriages and partnership dynamics inevitably change after a baby enters the family, and there may be an increase in tension for a long period of time.
  • Motherhood is the opposite of a lifestyle and feeling responsible for another human being can lead some mothers to long for a time when they were independent and spontaneous.
  • Motherhood involves delayed gratification and patience in the process.  For those who require immediate gratification and rewards, they may look to other sources as alcohol, and food.
  • Many alcoholics’ desire excitement and stimulation in their life, becoming a mother requires a quieter existence and a monotonous routine.

But don’t be discouraged there are many protective positive factors that motherhood can add

Blessings:

  • Taking care of a baby is the ultimate act of sharing and can increase our selflessness therefore, decreasing selfish addictive behaviors
  • Being a mother may increase motivation to get and stay sober, so that you have something to offer to your child.
  • Being in recovery can prevent feelings that parenting is “getting in the way” of your drinking life.
  • Motherhood brings new meaning to your life and can fulfill you in a way that you may have been searching for through alcohol.
  • Motherhood can inspire you to plan for a healthy future and excessive alcohol would not fit into that type of lifestyle
  • Mothers want to set good examples for their children, and being a mother in recovery is an admirable
  • Genetics account for 50% of the chance of developing alcoholism.  Therefore, it is vital that alcoholic parents take responsibility for getting sober and staying in recovery in order to increase the chances that their children either don’t develop alcoholism or have role models to support them if they do.
  • Drinking alcohol in excess inevitably brings an element of danger into your own life (health, drinking and driving, blackouts, etc.).  Therefore, as a mother, you would not want to bring these issues into your child’s life.

Recovery involves more than just “not drinking”.  It also includes living a balanced and healthy lifestyle.  Here are some suggestions of ways to balance recovery and motherhood:

  • Ask for help!  Mothers are not superwomen and need support in parenting from their spouse, partner, loved ones and friends.
  • Make sure that you are eating regularly and if you need help getting groceries or cooking, then reach out to others.
  • Be sure to integrate self-care into your day when taking care of your child: take a nap, exercise, read a good book, watch a fun T.V. show, meditate pray, etc. Cultivate a hobby.
  • Find ways to combine self-care and childcare: get a jogging stroller so that you can walk/run with your child; do yoga stretches while they are playing in an activity center on the floor; get a seat or “pack and play” that will allow you to shower, cook, clean, etc. Be sure to get outside each day, especially if there is sunshine. A lack of vitamin D from the sun can contribute to depressed moods.
  • Ask a loved one to watch your child or pay for a babysitter so that you can do something good for yourself at least once a week: therapy mutual-help group meeting, yoga, exercise, massage, manicure, etc.
  • Join a Mom’s support group such as “Mommy and Me” or library affiliated mother’s groups
  • Begin to create a daily routine that can bring some predictability and stability to your days.
  • Get sleep!!!  Sleep deprivation can lead to many mood-related issues.  If you are having insomnia or constantly interrupted sleep, then it is important to find some support and solutions:
  • Take a nap while your child is napping even if you have chores and other tasks to accomplish, have your partner alternate getting up to feed the baby at night, sleep with ear plugs and have your partner be “on call” alternate nights, listen to a guided relaxation before bed, turn off all electronics 1 hour before bedtime, go to bed first so that you are asleep before your partner comes to bed and have them be “on duty” so that you can sleep, have a night off and sleep at a loved one’s house so that you partner can cover for you (even one night of good sleep could help to recharge your battery).
  • NOT drink caffeine after 4:00pm, “Sleepy time” tea, consult with your physician about getting a blood test for your Thyroid or other post-partum imbalances that could lead to sleep issues, talk with your physician about non-habit forming sleep aid options if all other techniques do not help you.

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5 Least-Favorite Questions To A New Mother

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As the mother of a baby, you’ll get way more attention, comments and questions than you would if you were just out and about on your own. Some of this action is fun and even welcome, but there are some questions that you’d rather never hear uttered by another human being. Here are some from the list of my personal least-favorites.

  1. “Is he a good baby?”

This question still drives me crazy when I think about it. Is the person really asking if your baby is good or bad? They might as well just ask, “Is your baby evil or what?” Seriously, what makes a baby bad? Poor sleeping habits, colic, breastfeeding problems? These are typical baby problems and babies can’t help it. They’re babies and that’s what some babies do. It has no bearing on their characters, so people need to please stop asking new moms if their baby is a good one or not because the question frankly sucks.

  1. “Won’t you spoil him if you hold him all the time?”

With just a few words, this question puts moms on the defensive. Moms hold their babies because their babies thrive on it, it helps them stay content and they are less stressed-out. These is good.

  1. “Can I feed him ice cream/hot dogs/junk food/major allergens?”

No. You can’t feed my baby anything without my approval because I’m pretty much the only person (aside from my partner) who knows what kind of foods he can eat. Some foods are dangerous for babies, and some he may be allergic to. I don’t want him to have ice cream yet he really doesn’t care at this point.

  1. “Should you be eating that if you’re breastfeeding? Doesn’t it bother your baby?” ( Not my case thanks god…I cannot imagine my answers )

This is another question that puts moms on the defensive. Most likely, we know what our nursing babies can or can’t handle. If I can eat curry and salsa and broccoli, then I probably know that my baby doesn’t mind the flavor, it doesn’t give him gas and you can leave me alone now thanks.

  1. “How much does your baby weigh? He looks big/small for his age.”

Babies are super individual, simply because they are all individuals. When you question a kid’s size, it can sound you’re really questioning if her parents know what they’re doing. Are they feeding her enough, or are they not? It’s better if people realize that we (and our child’s doctor) know how he is doing and your question is just rude. We don’t have cookie-cutter babies, any more than we would be able to have clones. Just stop.

So most questions asked by friends, family, acquaintances and strangers are friendly and benign but others aren’t. What would you add to this list? In my opinion there are more horrific question but those are the 5 common horrible questions to a new mom

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