10 Things I Wish People Would Stop Doing Around My Kids

There are a few things I wish other parents would stop doing when it comes to my kids—or at the very least in front of them. With some things, when I clearly know the intent, it’s much easier to let it go, but other times I find myself digging deep to extend grace (if I’m honest there have been times when I’ve dug deep and come up with nothing).

Still, I’m not here to judge. I’m just here to encourage us to look within and to be mindful of the things we are doing and saying, not just when it comes to our own kids. I’m sure I’ve done something to result in an eye-roll from another mom. So while I’m asking you to please stop talking like a sailor in front of my children who happen to be right behind you in the grocery store checkout line, I’m also doing my best to teach my children about our own family values and expectations and that we don’t necessarily have to like or agree with everything someone does to respect them or be kind.

1. Let their kids use social media

Apparently my tween is the only one who doesn’t have Instagram or Snapchat (hey, I don’t even have Snapchat)—which means I’m being totally unreasonable here. I’m OK with that, but is there anyone out there who can give me a (virtual) high-five?

2. (Well-meaning strangers) offer my kids snacks

You thought the tears were bad, now just wait until I say, “No thank you.”

My little one is crying and you wanted to help so you waved your magic wand, I mean lollipop. Actually, you did ask me if she could have it but she was right there listening and watching that gleaming piece of candy move through the air. You thought the tears were bad, now just wait until I say, “No thank you.”

3. Ask me for a favor related to your kid

Perhaps the only thing worse than my child putting me on the spot is another parent putting me on the spot—in front of both our kids.

4. Drop F-bombs

Given I’ve got a 3-year-old who occasionally moonlights as a parrot, I try to be more careful about what I say around her. While I can control what I say, I can’t control what you say (Note: I’m not just talking about the occasional drop but rather a continuous stream of profanity as a part of your regular dialogue.). And there are some words that I don’t want to become a part of her increasingly expansive vocabulary.

5. Be mean

Making cruel, harsh and/or judgmental comments about parents or children or people in general just isn’t cool nor is it funny. When you pick apart the traits (physical or personality) of another person (even if they’re on TV), support negative stereotypes and engage in other forms of word vomit, I’m forced to question the value of our relationship when it comes to my family. Or maybe I question why I came to this restaurant and ask to be seated somewhere else. In our world kindness rules. You can totally, “sit with us.” Just be nice, OK?

6. Tell me how to discipline them

Lucky for you they’re my kids, which means you don’t need to worry yourself with how they should be disciplined.

If you’re coming from a good place and you’d like to share your thoughts in private, then please go right ahead. But I’d rather you not tell me that all parenting dilemmas would be solved if I would spank my kids or ground them or do whatever it is you do. Lucky for you they’re my kids, which means you don’t need to worry yourself with how they should be disciplined. Have you watched the news lately? There are greater fights for you to fight.

7. Make a negative or snarky comment about their appearance

I’m trying to raise girls that are comfortable in their own skin (and hair), and listening to you go on and on about how their hair is so coarse and how it must take forever and be so difficult to comb isn’t helping. We don’t need you to pity us or belittle us. We’re learning to work what God gave us and love it too. You don’t have to love it, but as the saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say … “

8. Disrespect boundaries

Nope. If my kid doesn’t want to hug you they don’t have to. It doesn’t matter whether you are a relative or a friend; if you ask and they decline, that’s it. And please refrain from the manipulative fake cries or declarations that you aren’t going to give them a treat anymore. Keep your treat. They have a right to speak up when it comes to their bodies.

9. Gossip

How is gossiping about someone’s marriage woes or troubled teen over coffee actually helping them? Moreover how is it helping my kids, who are indirectly being invited into an (inappropriate) adult conversation? Children are children, not miniature grown-ups. So please, let them be little. Once again “If you don’t have anything nice to say … “

10. Insist that (insert magical childhood character) doesn’t exist.

Just because you’ve stopped believing doesn’t mean my children have to. In my house we’re holding on to the magic of childhood for as long as we can, and for us that includes penning letters to Santa and putting that lost tooth under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy. (Also: Unlike our fictitious favorites, our God is real. We don’t attack your faith and ask that you please refrain from attacking ours.).

Is there anything you wish other parents would stop doing around your kids or you’re making more of an effort to stop doing?

Via Mom.me

You love your child but sometimes…

Adrian M

I would do anything for my child, but sometimes I feel guilty to admit the truth about that sometimes I don’t like him very much. The key is that I don’t like his behavior and is not that I don’t like him as a person. When I say that I don’t like my child is probably the unappropriated behavior that sometimes I have to be the viewer, I can feel frustrated because I am tired of the constant back talk, the yelling or the arguing. Or I don’t like the way my child treats me lately, this reflection is directed toward those parents that feel the same way I feel at any age of their children.

I think there are periods of time when we don’t like our child because of a certain stage we are experiencing through. As a mother I really liked being around him, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him but at this point I disliked his behavior so much that sometimes I feel really exhaust knowing is completely natural at this point of his 2-years old and it’s all part of my child growing up and starting a life of his own, even if it’s painful at times.

Here’s an important distinction I’d like to make again: not liking your child’s behavior is very different from not liking him as a person. A child’s behavior becomes part of his personality in some ways. In fact, you often can’t see where he ends and the behavior begins and actually you also associate him with his personality as the words are coming out of your child’s mouth. You can see the nasty look on your child’s eyes sometimes even at this early age and you can hear the rude tone in your son’s voice. It’s easy to get frustrated and it becomes easy not to like the child who’s performing this type of behavior at any age.

I think it’s important to realize that sometimes kids can be a pain in the neck, just like the rest of us, is just a stage and is not connected on how much we love them.

Follow my blog for more interesting and informative articles about our children on this parenting stage.

TIPS TO READ TO YOUR KIDS UNDER 3 YEARS-OLD

 

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Your kids love the reading time with you, eventually they wait for that moment however sometimes for them to pay attention could be a mission. They most of the time love and wait for it but sometimes their entertainment is somewhere else. As a parent s is always good to obtain and have some advice on how to hold their attention on this reading time, especially for kids under 3 years old.

It is always good to enforce and implement the love to read specially since they are little, and that is the reason why you never have to stop reading to them specially the first years. The key is to basically have the right election on the histories you read to them, the secret is to look for the classic adventures and short histories.

Actually there are more tips that can help you to not fail on this trial.

How can make it fun?

  • The selection of a history full of action is a key on this daily activity; try to involve animals as a fundamental for the short period of the reading.
  • Use your vocal cords to reach them and provide the magic of the history as they can enjoy the performance, using different tones in your voice.
  • A lot of animations in the book are essential, the colors, the bright images will capture their attention instantly.
  • Let your kids touch the books, the pictures, the images,  they need to make contact with the lecture and feel the reality of the moment, they always  feel attraction to colors, images and different symbols  in the book.
  • Do not forces your kids if they are not enjoying the lecture, jut look for another history in another moment.
  • Help you with your index finger when you are reading to them, follow the lecture slowly pointing each word with your finger , we need to show them that we are reading directly to them and we are not improvising the lecture even if we are really  doing it.
  • Read daily, not sporadically. You can start reading a short story every day and gradually when you see your child getting into the reading habit increase the amount of lecture a day. Read 15 minutes each day as a minimum.

Why is important?

 This activity benefit to kids in all ages since they are little until adults, something that simple activity could represent a lot of advantages in the mental development of your child. Lectures and reading improves the language and imagination, also increase the vocabulary and develop memories and expression since early age.

 

 

Understanding your children‘s emotions

mota

Emotions are part of the humans inside, understand them is needed to live in harmony around people and with ourselves. It Is necessary to understand your emotions and live in peace with them, we need to understand as well the peoples’ and recognize the consequences of fight them down.

Do not put down your children’s emotions, the consequences could be negative on their behaviors. In this post, I would like to share with you some of the consequences and thoughts on how to put down your children’s emotions can affect them seriously.

  • Feeling emotions is not sometime negative in our life’s; putting down or ignore your child’s emotions would let them think that is showing a negative feeling.
  • They will learn not to cry and show his emotions in a different way like anger and fury, as an effect they can develop mental problems in the future.
  • They will feel confuse once they want to cry and won’t know what to do when they are feeling sad and will hide to cry thinking there is something bad as the illusion that only fragile and weak people cry.
  • Kid will grow up without emotional intelligence and will disconnect from their heart developing health problems.
  • The lack of creativeness and connection with their emotions won’t let them be real and won’t show their authenticity showing their real personality.
  • They will develop immature personality having difficulties to understand others individuals in their environments.
  • They will be able to blame other people on the way they feels, instead to find a solution on how they feel.
  • Once they experience a difficult situation like the lost of a family member for example, they will have more chances to commit suicidal acts.
  • Kid will feel useless and won’t have their self steam strong and define, since they are not having the emotional support from their parents or guardians.
  • As adults they will feel some time of bitterness and resentment about their life because they did not learn how to express their emotions.
  • In school they could face mistreatment and neglecting, especially when they are little, and in the job place as adults because they would not know how to express emotions.
  • They could develop some addictions as drinking, drugs, smoking and all type of addictions since he will feel empty inside

As a parents we need to take the time to understand our children since they are born, and also on all the phases on their lives. They need us to understand the way they are feeling inside.

Children needs to understand their emotions , we need to let them laugh, cry, and get angry; they need to understand that emotions are normal; with time they will understand the meaning of each emotion to find the solutions and feel better as individuals.

Changing unacceptable behavior in kids by changing their environment

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They are not enough parents trying to challenge the bad behavior in our children by changing their surroundings. The modifications in their environments, are more used in infants and small children than with older children , since they get older parents try to rely on the verbal  methods, but since this option is really easy and effective we all can put it in practice. If children are involved in something interesting they are less likely pester parents. Let’s consider some good and easy  ideas to make it possible:

  • Some parents receive excellent results when you assign a special area in the garage, the living rooms or any corner where the kids are able to build, paint, mess and create their social environment. Limiting their space is also a negative reason for them to behave, children most of the time accept this limitations of their life space
  • Also car trips are times when especially they aggravate their parents, make sure to have enough material in the car to entertain your child and keep them become bored or restless.
  • Most parents organize play dates, arrange playmates to come to the house, frequently two or more children will find acceptable things to do and listen to their parents than if the child is alone.
  • Playdoh, finger paints, fun card games, puppets, theaters putting some shows; all these things can reduce the aggressive, restless, or trouble behavior.
  • Sometimes we offer to our children unacceptable environments where is too difficult and complex to be around, try to focus on have your house or their area easier for them to do things and do not feel the frustration that comes with the lack of control of their environment.
  • Another way to simplify your child’s environment is to buy clothes easy for them to put themselves, putting their closet hooks at a lower level, buying plastic cups, and purchasing child-size eating implements.

Children have an amazing capacity to adjust comfortably to changes. I hope you found this article useful and easier to put in practice. I became a blogger since I became a mom two years ago for the first time in my early forties, I truly believe in the articles I post and I would love to support and provide informative articles and tips to all the parents in this parenthood stage.

Strategies to prevent anxiety in kids

adrian

We have not come to this world with a manual on how to be a parent; our main goal is to provide to our kids the best quality of life possible to raise happy and respectful humans. One of the most difficult issues that parents meet presently could be the anxiety in kids. Most of the common mistakes parents do when they see their children showing signs of anxiety are yelling, punishment, and the verbal threats that most of the times create more tension on them.

Remember that is not your goal to be the best parent in the world; your goal is to be there for your kids and be the best example where they can feel support and love. Most of the time you heard that anxiety in kids is transmitted by their parent but is not completely accurate.

All kids in some point of their life feel the fear to be abandoned, they cry in school, they feel unusual fears without a reason and sometimes they have gone through episodes in their life where they develop some type of anxiety, for example the experience to lose a familiar member that can generate some type of fear on them.

As a parents we can make their life so charming and calm as we would wish, the most important advice is to be there for them, to notice anything in particular that is not considered normal, learn to listen to them and understand them, educate based in intelligence and comprehension can help us to prevent the anxiety in our children.  They are evidence that sometimes if at least one of the parents presents some type of anxiety their kids will develop some type of anxiety between the age of 6 and 13 years old but there is not a specific reason to develop it, sometimes is a combination of genetic and some environmental factors.

The most important thing is that if one of the parents present some type of anxiety needs to be treated and be conscious that is crucial in the development of our kids.

Let’s have in practice some strategies on how to prevent and challenge anxiety in our kids:

  1. Kids need to confront their fears: Is normal to protect our kids, but overprotective is not really healthy for them, we need to let them be capable to challenge their fears, once they test their fears they will feel proud of themselves.
  2. Use positive messages to communicate to them: Congratulate your kids for each task they perform good, and the most important thing is to avoid and criticize something when they do it wrong. Never used depreciate words because in the future they will remember them and will cause a stage on anxiety at some point.
  3. Understand what is important to them: Sometimes we criticize things that for them are important and we somewhat for lack of time and dedication are not noticed. Always listen what they want to say to you.
  4. Talk to your kids about everything that cause them distress or fear: Talk to them in a comprehensive way and with attention, always provide support and conform to them.

Parenting is not easy,  every day is a challenge.

If you are interesting in more tips and informative articles follow my blog, I am a mother becoming a blogger as a hobby and believe in all my post and informative tips.

 

 

Toddler Development: What is normal, What is not 


No matter how hard you try, it’s tough not to compare your toddler with his peers. But here’s the thing: The real measure of your child’s development is how he’s progressing compared with himself not anyone else. If he’s learning new words, skills, and concepts regularly, then he’s doing just fine. But if he seems to be at a standstill or regressing in certain areas, that’s a red flag. Don’t be shy to talk to your child’s doctor about any concerns you have because if intervention is necessary, the sooner the better.

TYPICAL TODDLER DEVELOPMENT: SPEECH

Still trying to decipher some of your toddler’s talk? Not to worry most two-and-a-half-year-olds speak unintelligibly some of the time, as they continue to work at coordinating the thoughts in their brains with the movements of their lips and tongues. (By age three, you should understand him clearly at least half the time.) What’s important now: Your toddler should be adding words rapidly he’ll likely have a vocabulary of more than 1,000 words by the time he hits his third birthday. 

TYPICAL TODDLER DEVELOPMENT: LEARNING

At this age and stage, your curious little guy may begin to show interest in numbers and letters (most love the alphabet song!) and be able to identify shapes and colors. He can probably point to pictures of people and name them (Grandma!) or to objects and describe what they do. Again, what’s most important is his interest in learning and ability to do so, not how many facts he has stored up.

TYPICAL TODDLER DEVELOPMENT: MOTOR SKILLS

Your energizer bunny should certainly be walking, running, and climbing by now, but there’s a wide range of normal when it comes to other large and small motor skills. For instance, “early” bloomers may be able to balance on one foot, jump forward (broad jump), and throw a ball now. And while your child might not be doing all of these, do check in with your doctor if he still can’t coordinate his movements to stack blocks or if he falls frequently (especially by age three).


TYPICAL TODDLER DEVELOPMENT: SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL SKILLS

No surprise here: Tantrums, frustration, and separation anxiety are very common and totally normal. After all, with so many changes and challenges, it’s easy for a toddler to feel overwhelmed. Socially, you may have a busy butterfly on your hands — or a solo operator; again, both are typical, so celebrate your tot’s individuality without comparing him with his peers. Some toddlers begin to play more cooperatively now, but parallel (side-by-side) play is still pretty common at this age, especially for kids who aren’t in child care or haven’t logged a lot of time in group settings.

With diagnoses of autism and other developmental delays on the rise, it’s easy to worry about your child’s behavioral quirks. Ask your doctor about an evaluation if you notice:

* A lack of communication your child repeats words but doesn’t participate in conversations or respond to his name

* An inability to read facial expressions or other forms of nonverbal communication

* Failure to make eye contact

* Attempts to avoid social contact or touch

* Very narrowly focused interests

* Inappropriate use of toys (organizes/lines up play food instead of pretending to cook or eat it, for example)

* Undersensitivity or oversensitivity to sensory stimulation, such as sound or touch

* A loss of previously mastered language or social skills

I hope you found this article informative about Toddler Development I obtained the information from What to Expect I became a blogger since I became a mom two years ago for the first time in my early forties, I truly believe in the articles I post and I would love to support and provide informative articles and tips to all the parents in this parenthood stage.