10 Things I Wish People Would Stop Doing Around My Kids

There are a few things I wish other parents would stop doing when it comes to my kids—or at the very least in front of them. With some things, when I clearly know the intent, it’s much easier to let it go, but other times I find myself digging deep to extend grace (if I’m honest there have been times when I’ve dug deep and come up with nothing).

Still, I’m not here to judge. I’m just here to encourage us to look within and to be mindful of the things we are doing and saying, not just when it comes to our own kids. I’m sure I’ve done something to result in an eye-roll from another mom. So while I’m asking you to please stop talking like a sailor in front of my children who happen to be right behind you in the grocery store checkout line, I’m also doing my best to teach my children about our own family values and expectations and that we don’t necessarily have to like or agree with everything someone does to respect them or be kind.

1. Let their kids use social media

Apparently my tween is the only one who doesn’t have Instagram or Snapchat (hey, I don’t even have Snapchat)—which means I’m being totally unreasonable here. I’m OK with that, but is there anyone out there who can give me a (virtual) high-five?

2. (Well-meaning strangers) offer my kids snacks

You thought the tears were bad, now just wait until I say, “No thank you.”

My little one is crying and you wanted to help so you waved your magic wand, I mean lollipop. Actually, you did ask me if she could have it but she was right there listening and watching that gleaming piece of candy move through the air. You thought the tears were bad, now just wait until I say, “No thank you.”

3. Ask me for a favor related to your kid

Perhaps the only thing worse than my child putting me on the spot is another parent putting me on the spot—in front of both our kids.

4. Drop F-bombs

Given I’ve got a 3-year-old who occasionally moonlights as a parrot, I try to be more careful about what I say around her. While I can control what I say, I can’t control what you say (Note: I’m not just talking about the occasional drop but rather a continuous stream of profanity as a part of your regular dialogue.). And there are some words that I don’t want to become a part of her increasingly expansive vocabulary.

5. Be mean

Making cruel, harsh and/or judgmental comments about parents or children or people in general just isn’t cool nor is it funny. When you pick apart the traits (physical or personality) of another person (even if they’re on TV), support negative stereotypes and engage in other forms of word vomit, I’m forced to question the value of our relationship when it comes to my family. Or maybe I question why I came to this restaurant and ask to be seated somewhere else. In our world kindness rules. You can totally, “sit with us.” Just be nice, OK?

6. Tell me how to discipline them

Lucky for you they’re my kids, which means you don’t need to worry yourself with how they should be disciplined.

If you’re coming from a good place and you’d like to share your thoughts in private, then please go right ahead. But I’d rather you not tell me that all parenting dilemmas would be solved if I would spank my kids or ground them or do whatever it is you do. Lucky for you they’re my kids, which means you don’t need to worry yourself with how they should be disciplined. Have you watched the news lately? There are greater fights for you to fight.

7. Make a negative or snarky comment about their appearance

I’m trying to raise girls that are comfortable in their own skin (and hair), and listening to you go on and on about how their hair is so coarse and how it must take forever and be so difficult to comb isn’t helping. We don’t need you to pity us or belittle us. We’re learning to work what God gave us and love it too. You don’t have to love it, but as the saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say … “

8. Disrespect boundaries

Nope. If my kid doesn’t want to hug you they don’t have to. It doesn’t matter whether you are a relative or a friend; if you ask and they decline, that’s it. And please refrain from the manipulative fake cries or declarations that you aren’t going to give them a treat anymore. Keep your treat. They have a right to speak up when it comes to their bodies.

9. Gossip

How is gossiping about someone’s marriage woes or troubled teen over coffee actually helping them? Moreover how is it helping my kids, who are indirectly being invited into an (inappropriate) adult conversation? Children are children, not miniature grown-ups. So please, let them be little. Once again “If you don’t have anything nice to say … “

10. Insist that (insert magical childhood character) doesn’t exist.

Just because you’ve stopped believing doesn’t mean my children have to. In my house we’re holding on to the magic of childhood for as long as we can, and for us that includes penning letters to Santa and putting that lost tooth under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy. (Also: Unlike our fictitious favorites, our God is real. We don’t attack your faith and ask that you please refrain from attacking ours.).

Is there anything you wish other parents would stop doing around your kids or you’re making more of an effort to stop doing?

Via Mom.me

Rules of how many times you need to wash your bra before use it again


For some women (not naming names. OK: me), there is one article of clothing that gets more attention than any other in our wardrobe. We call this item my favorite bra, and washing it daily is not always an option.

How many of us are asking this question? But how often should we purge our beloved unmentionables into the laundry cycle? Every week? Once a month? How about when it grows legs and starts to walk on its own?

Why didn’t someone sit us down after we put on our first AAA trainer and give us the rules all those years ago. Are there even rules?

Yes, yes there are rules. According to Lexie Sachs, a senior product analyst at the Good Housekeeping Institute Textiles Lab, the rules for washing bras depends on the climate in which you wear that bra and also your activity level.

The rule of thumb when it comes to bra sanitation is to wash them after they’ve been worn several times. Unless, of course, it’s a sports bra that has been put to good use, in which case please wash after each wearing.

And in all cases after washing, lay your bras flat to dry.

“You want to wash it just as you would with another type of clothing you would wear, but if you aren’t sweating a lot and wearing for regular use you can do it every few wears.”

Sachs goes on to describe the importance of proper care and why we should never use the dryer, because, apparently, some of you are doing this. YOU’RE DRYING YOUR BRAS, how could you?

“Heat and agitation of a dryer can damage the bra’s elasticity and shape, and hanging it can cause stretching.”

Additionally, Sachs points out, “You should have several bras to rotate through to avoid stressing elastic over time, but wearing the same bra two days in a row isn’t an issue. Taking it off at night should allow plenty of time for it to recover its shape and elasticity. If it can’t do that in eight to twelve hours, waiting an extra day won’t make a big difference.”

She also recommends placing bras in a mesh washing machine-safe bag when cleaning.

“Mesh bags also help prevent bra hooks from snagging other garments,” Sachs adds. “But also hook the bra before you throw it in the wash, and consider a mild detergent, like Woolite, since it’ll be more gentle on the fabric.”

Enough already. Raise your hand if you aren’t already doing these things? Isn’t that why they refer to these items as delicate? So that we will be more careful when handling?

Though this may not come as news to those already waiving their 28th Amendment right, “Thou shalt not launder daily,” it does offer a modest consolation to women in general. Sometimes, it just helps to know that you’re not alone, that you’re not the only one walking around with toast crumbs tumbling around in a delicately laced brassiere while sizing up the single women at the Starbucks counter—you know, the one without kids.

So, loosen up (that dirty bra) and relish in the fact that experts agree. They have taken the guilt stain out of laundry and given us one more day to breathe in the freedom and prance around in our favorite—and most hated—accessory: Le soutien-gorge, otherwise known as the bra.