Changing The Perspective Of My Sons’s Tantrums


If you’re like me, the parent of a kid susceptible to tantrums occasionally, you know how difficult and emotionally demanding tantrums can be. I didn’t handle his tantrums well sometimes. I feel angry and resentful, and mad at my kid. Every parenting book suggested that kids throw temper tantrums as a way to manipulate their parents to get what they want. I’m sure some kids do but in my son’s case, he simply didn’t know how to control his reactions. I am trying to change my reaction to his tantrums and realized that my job is to teach him how to calm himself. I am trying to stop throwing tantrums about my son’s tantrums and help him to regulate himself.

Here are six things that can help:
1. Stop being angry at my son for his tantrums
Instead of feel offensive and want my son to be different or being angry that he is throwing a tantrum; I am trying to accept that this is who he is and learn to help.
2. I am not ignoring my son, but I am ignoring the tantrum
My son wasn’t trying to get attention by throwing a tantrum. But I noticed that when I did try to speak to him when he was throwing a tantrum, it almost seemed to start the tantrum over, always make sure my son is safe and that others around are as well.
3. I am trying to stop telling him to stop
A child who can’t regulate himself certainly isn’t going to have a miraculous improvement in his actions because his mom is screaming. My son needs me to be a calm person and see how I react.
4. I am teaching him how to calm himself down
I need to teach my son to calm his own tantrums by 1) Not talking to him during the tantrum. 2) Picking up a book that my son likes and reading it to him or I simply find an activity he loves to distract his attention, reading the book to my son would  make him want to join in, and understand that he could pick up a book when he’s feeling out of control and calm himself down.
Now when my son gets upset I offer him to read a book or he takes one on his own. Grown-ups have tools to calm themselves down same as kids.
5. I never talk about the tantrum after he is done
Talking about the tantrum afterward only gave it more weight than it deserved. We move on and move forward trying to focus in something else.
6. I don’t punish my son or take something away from him
A lot of kids who are disposed to do tantrums are anxious kids to begin with, so feeling like they’re going to lose something for a behavior they can’t yet control only adds to the anxiety more anxiety, and to the tantrums more tantrums. My son needs to know I love him no matter what and not feel like he’s a bad kid for freaking out.
The tantrums are random, but now I can track in reverse and see how to manage them but if I can’t, I’m going to tell him I love him anyways.

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Your kids love the reading time with you, eventually they wait for that moment however sometimes for them to pay attention could be a mission. They most of the time love and wait for it but sometimes their entertainment is somewhere else. As a parent s is always good to obtain and have some advice on how to hold their attention on this reading time, especially for kids under 3 years old.

It is always good to enforce and implement the love to read specially since they are little, and that is the reason why you never have to stop reading to them specially the first years. The key is to basically have the right election on the histories you read to them, the secret is to look for the classic adventures and short histories.

Actually there are more tips that can help you to not fail on this trial.

How can make it fun?

  • The selection of a history full of action is a key on this daily activity; try to involve animals as a fundamental for the short period of the reading.
  • Use your vocal cords to reach them and provide the magic of the history as they can enjoy the performance, using different tones in your voice.
  • A lot of animations in the book are essential, the colors, the bright images will capture their attention instantly.
  • Let your kids touch the books, the pictures, the images,  they need to make contact with the lecture and feel the reality of the moment, they always  feel attraction to colors, images and different symbols  in the book.
  • Do not forces your kids if they are not enjoying the lecture, jut look for another history in another moment.
  • Help you with your index finger when you are reading to them, follow the lecture slowly pointing each word with your finger , we need to show them that we are reading directly to them and we are not improvising the lecture even if we are really  doing it.
  • Read daily, not sporadically. You can start reading a short story every day and gradually when you see your child getting into the reading habit increase the amount of lecture a day. Read 15 minutes each day as a minimum.

Why is important?

 This activity benefit to kids in all ages since they are little until adults, something that simple activity could represent a lot of advantages in the mental development of your child. Lectures and reading improves the language and imagination, also increase the vocabulary and develop memories and expression since early age.