Irregular Bedtimes Could Be Damaging Children’s Health

What happens in the early years of a person’s life has a profound effect on how they fare later on. Thousands of research papers – many of them using the rich data in the British Birth Cohort studies – have shown that children who get a poor start in life are much more likely to experience difficulties as adults; whether that’s to do with poor health, or their ability to enjoy work and family life.

Ensuring that children get enough sleep is one of a number of ways to get them off to the best possible start in life. The National Sleep Foundation recommends that toddlers should get roughly 11 to 14 hours of sleep every day. For children aged three to five years, the recommendation is ten to 13 hours, or nine to 11 hours for children once they’re at primary school.

But the latest research carried out by our team at UCL’s International Centre for Lifecourse Studies, shows that it’s not just the amount of sleep a child gets which matters. After digging into the data from the Millennium Cohort Study (MCS) – which has followed the lives of some 20,000 children since the turn of the century – we found that having a regular bedtime also affects how they get on at home and at school, throughout the first decade of their lives.

The ‘jet lag’ effect:

To begin with, we looked at the relationship between regular and irregular bedtimes, and how the children got on in a range of cognitive tests. Parents who took part in the MCS were asked whether their children went to bed at a regular time on weekdays. Those who answered “always” or “usually” were put in the regular bedtime group, while those who answered “sometimes” or “never” were put in the irregular bedtime group.

The results were striking. Children with irregular bedtimes had lower scores on maths, reading and spatial awareness tests. In fact, the time that children went to bed had little or no effect on their basic number skills, or their ability to work with shapes. But having no set bedtime was linked to lower scores, especially for three-year-olds. The greatest dip in test results was seen in girls who had no set bedtime at their early life.

At the heart of this phenomenon is the circadian rhythm – the internal body clock, which tells you when it’s time to sleep and wake up.

If I travel from London to New York, I’m likely to be slightly ragged when I arrive, because jet lag is going to affect my cognitive abilities, appetite and emotions. If I bring one of my children with me, and I want them to do well at a maths test having just jumped across time zones, they will struggle even more than I will. If we think of the body is an instrument, then a child’s body is more prone to getting out of tune.

The same thing happens when children go to bed at 8pm one night, 10pm the next and 7pm another . Scientists sometimes call this the “social jet lag effect”. Without ever getting on a plane, a child’s bodily systems get shuffled through different time zones, and their circadian rhythms and hormonal systems take a hit as a result.

Best behavior:

As well as enhancing a child’s intellectual development, we found that regular bedtimes can also improve their behaviour.

At age seven, according to parents and teachers, children in the MCS who had irregular bedtimes were considerably more likely to have behavioural problems than their peers who had a regular bedtime. The more frequently a child had been able to go to bed at different times each night, the worse his or her behavioural problems were. In other words, the effects appeared to accumulate throughout childhood.

But we did find an important piece of good news,too: those negative effects on behaviour appeared to be reversible. Children who switched to having a regular bedtime showed improvements in their behaviour. This shows that it’s never too late to help children back onto a positive path, and a small change could make a big difference to how well they get on.

But of course, the reverse was also true: the behaviour of children who switched from a regular to an irregular bedtime got worse.

A weighty problem:

In a follow-up study, which looked at the impact of routines (including bedtimes) on obesity, we reported that children with irregular bedtimes were more likely to be overweight, and have lower self-esteem and satisfaction with their bodies.

In fact, of all the routines we studied, an inconsistent bedtime was most strongly associated with the risk of obesity. This supports other recent findings, which show that young children who skipped breakfast and went to bed at irregular times were more likely to be obese at age 11. Even children who “usually” had a regular bedtime were 20% more likely to be obese than those who “always” went to bed at around the same time.

Clearly, the evidence shows that a regular bedtime really matters when it comes to children’s health and development, throughout that crucial first decade of their lives. Including these findings alongside recommended hours of sleep in advice for all those caring for young children could make a real difference, by helping protect children from “social jet lag” and getting them off to a flying start instead.

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My Only Child Doesn’t Need A Sibling

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Via mom.me

By Leah Campbell

I have this amazing friend who is basically a single mama superhero. She is stunning (in the kind of shape I have never in my entire life been in), successful in her career, completely committed to parenting and always jetting off on some new adventure or another with her sidekick—a little girl who is full of her mama’s spunk and energy.

I am not kidding you when I say I look at this mama some days and wonder how in the heck she does it all.

But recently she posted something on Facebook that struck me. It was about the numerous comments she gets regarding how her daughter “needs” a sibling, and how rude, presumptuous and downright out-of-line those comments are.

As I read her post, I thought to myself, “You go, Mama!”

For the record, I have always wanted a large family. The idea of having an only never really crossed my mind, until I dealt with infertility, enduring singledom (I think they used to call it “spinsterhood”) and the realization that my daughter (adopted in the most serendipitous of ways) and I have a pretty damn good life together. If it is only ever just the two of us, both she and I will be just fine.

She doesn’t need a sibling any more than I need another child. Which is to say, it would be nice—and I certainly remain open to the possibility—but I also see the beauty ahead in the life I could create for us if it is only ever just her and me.

You know what kids need? Love, support, guidance, food, shelter and maybe a little more love. But a sibling?

I think people mean well enough when they comment on the need for a sibling. Nobody intends any harm; they are simply remembering back to their own childhoods, to the fun they had with their siblings, or the loneliness they may have felt as only children themselves. Plus, we all know the stereotypes surrounding only children, and I have certainly known an only child or two myself who has lived up to those stereotypes.

But what people forget is that those really are just stereotypes. The recent research points to the fact that only children are not nearly as lonely as we’ve been led to believe, and that they actually fare better than kids with siblings in some areas, including academic pursuits. And, as long as we’re talking in anecdotes, I’ve also known only children in my past who in no way lived up to the stereotypes attributed to them; they were kind, generous, loving people who were raised by parents that worked hard to mold them as such.

Whether or not a child has a sibling is not the defining factor for the type of person they will become, and no child needs a sibling. You know what kids need? Love, support, guidance, food, shelter and maybe a little more love. But a sibling? That’s about as crucial to development as a puppy—sure, lessons can be gained from the added responsibility, but it certainly isn’t the only way to grow into a responsible adult.

Look, if I am ever blessed with another child, I have no doubt my daughter will benefit from having a little brother or sister to grow up alongside. But she’s not going to grow into a spoiled, selfish person without one—which, let’s be honest, is the underlying implication whenever anyone suggests that a child needs that brother or sister.

How about instead of commenting on the size of other people’s families, or when/if they should add on to those families, we instead make a solemn vow to recognize that it’s none of our business. Not only because you have no idea what another family has dealt with (infertility, loss or struggles in their romantic relationship that make adding on seem like a bad idea) but also because no child needs a sibling. And asserting that they do is just kind of an asshole thing to say.

Don’t be an asshole. Just don’t comment on another person’s family. Because you don’t know the whole story, and your compilation of anecdotal evidence does not make you an expert on what any child might need.

One thing I can say for sure? My friend’s little girl is going to be just fine if she is forever an only child. Mostly because she has a superhero for a mama. One who works hard, every single day, to make sure she has everything she needs—and so much more.

I completely identify myself on this post. I hope you found it crucial found some comfort  if you are experience some similar situation.

Monica R.

Are You This Lucky?

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There is one rule in most situations to don’t compare yourself to others. But as moms, that’s almost impossible not to do, we now spend a majority of our time with other parents and their kids. I often think to myself, is she just a better mom than me, or does she have easier kids?

Of course, I know the answer to this question. All children come with their own set of rules, and I’m doing the best I can, but it’s still hard because our children can be a reflection of us to the outside world.

These are the moms some wouldn’t mind trading places with for one day:

  1. The Moms whose Kids Sit in the Shopping Cart

The grocery store is practically handing us an excellent ticket when they offer carts that look like race cars. It should be a toddler version of someone letting me drive their Ferrari but my kid make me want to drive off a precipice as I push that ridiculously enormous object and here comes another car cruising towards me, those damn carts are so huge we have to knock down all the displays to get what we want most of the times.

  1. Moms whose Kids Hold Their Hand When Walking Down the Street

These are the moments I apologize to the parenting gods for ever judging anyone who put their child on a leash. I want to handcuff mine most of the times. Even when he does hold my hand walking, it’s a little vague; his arm is in a constant shake motion.

  1. The Moms whose Kids Brush Their Hair and Teeth

Just ask my kid sometimes every morning is a mission to do it, he is little and he needs my help but even that he wants to make it himself and is the constant fight every morning. It makes no difference what flavor the toothpaste is or what character appears on their toothbrush.

  1. The Moms whose Kids Leave Places in peace

Everywhere we go somewhere and it’s time to get back into the car to leave my kid act like I’m tearing him away from Disney World. No matter where we are, chaos ensues when it’s time to go. I think I won’t take him to Disney World until at least their mid-30s, when he establishes some self-control.

Needless to say, these are things I never imagined would be an issue before I was a mother. I had no idea my child would complain about the simplest tasks, he also knows the right moment to plant a kiss on my cheek or bring a smile on my face, but I also have come to embrace the chaos, and laugh each day because I survive the unexpected but even the adversity I consider myself a lucky mom.

Always Your Little Boy

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Being a little boy’s mama is to point the penis down in a diaper, and probably getting a face full of urine at least once in your life.

It means having to educate a child on owning a body that you know amazingly little about (testosterone, masturbation, facial hair), and answering questions like, “Why it straight, mommy? OH NO, WHY IS MY PENIS STRAIGHT?!” (Being a mama to only boys may also mean quietly weeping for the useless advice you have about owning ovaries and wild mood swings.)

Being a little boy’s mama means pockets full of wildflowers. It means cuddles and compliments and thoughtful gestures from a miniature gentleman.

Being a little boy’s mama means hearing phrases like, “Boys belong to their future wives, girls belong to their moms forever” and dying a little inside.

It means finding rocks hidden around the house. Being a little boy’s mama means teaching the lesson NO especially when it comes to someone’s body or personal space. It means not only teaching respect, but modeling what a respectful, strong, capable woman actually is.

It’s declaring that your son will not be that guy who creepily grinds up behind an unsuspecting girl in a club, or catcalls a woman walking across the street, or starts a drunken brawl. (And then accepting that it’s a possibility.)

Being a little boy’s mama means prematurely mourning his high-pitched chipmunk voice, realizing that you’ll eventually hear a deeper, stronger, manlier voice.

It means knowing that one day you’ll be looking up at your child.

It means kissing his cheek and knowing that, one day, it will be prickly or unshaven. It means looking at his chest and legs and knowing that hair will cover his baby-soft skin.

Being a little boy’s mama means always going, moving, running, energy. It means muddy shoes, bandaged legs, and breath-catching stunts that nearly stop your heart.

It means surrendering to rough housing and accepting the bloody noses.

It means playing certain games and watching certain movies that you really have no interest in, and yet still enjoy seeing through the ninja-superhero-karate perspective because it’s his perspective.

Being a little boy’s mama means loving your husband the same way you’d want your son to be loved.

Being a little boy’s mama means seeing the little boy in all men, and feeling more empathetic than you were before.

Being a little boy’s mama will change you — harden you in some places, soften you in others — but will ultimately give the sweetest memories of when, for a brief period, you were everything to a sticky-faced little man.

The Mom sings, The Son Cries

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I think already commented and described about how my son of 2 and a half years old gets so emotional since he was a baby when I sing to him. I cannot understand and explain that feeling, how he feels so emotional when I sing a lullaby to him, is not that I am singing a known song, I make up melodies to him and singing at the time he goes to bed to make him feel more relaxed but there are days when he just tells me NO, and other ones when he probably needs to feel my comfort and closeness and that he listen to me and start feeling so emotional and cries…

Probably is a remarkable demonstration of emotional contagion, the tendency for humans to absorb and reflect the intense emotions of those around them. Emotional contagion is the foundation of human responses that are essential to social functioning such and empathy and is facilitated by the mirror neuron system in the brain.

It is shown in young infants’ tendency to cry when in the vicinity of another crying baby (known as contagious crying), and just as easily to mimic the joy or glee expressed by another person.  Emotional contagion may also be seen in the blank stares of infants of depressed mothers or fathers, reflecting their caregivers’ flat affect.

Parents also imitate their infants’ expressions. Infants begin to show a ‘social smile’ by about six to eight weeks of age, and this in turn also triggers more smiling in parents. This moment-to-moment mimicry and matching of emotional expressions in time is  emotional synchrony like ‘getting in step’ with each other, to dance together in a smooth interaction.

The orientation to each other is important in establishing the optimal conditions for emotional contagion and synchrony. In this case when the singing begins, the emotional expression of the face immediately mimics this concentrated on the facial expression.

I believe the singing plays a very important role in this scenario. In daily interactions, emotional expressions are fleeting. Smiles or frowns might flash across the face, constantly changing with speech and environmental cues. But when singing a slow-paced song, facial expressions are shown as if in slow motion or even as if suspended in time probably intensifying the effects of emotional contagion.

Emotional contagion induced by film characters on-screen and sensitivity to rising and falling melodies in film scores, as well as speech contours are also mechanisms by which films take us on an emotional journey.  If filmed while watching a movie, you might catch yourself mimicking facial expressions of the characters, even though nobody is responding to your smiles in the dark.

I wish I can record this magical moment, but always occurs natural and unexpected. I truly believe and know that happened,  is very common to see babies cry when the mother sings to them.

I Cry For You 

Sometimes I cry for you, little one.

Sometimes I cry because the world is so big and you’re so small, and I worry—Oh, do I worry—about your smallness in this big world.

Sometimes I cry because you’re so big and I’m so small, and the bigger you get to me, the smaller I get to you, and I worry—Lord, how I worry—about my smallness in your big world.

Sometimes I cry because this love is too big and my heart is too small, and a bursting heart feels—strangely, painfully—an awful lot like a breaking one.

Sometimes I cry because I’m overwhelmed by the beauty of you.

Sometimes I cry because I’m overwhelmed by the weight of you.

Sometimes I cry because in the process of gaining you, I gave up a version of me, and though I wouldn’t change that even if I could, sometimes I miss me desperately.

Sometimes I cry because your skin is so soft, and your eyes are so bright, and your soul is so new, and your heart is so open, and I’m sad. I’m sad that your innocence will crumble from experiences brutal and necessary, because you are as painfully human as the rest of us.

Sometimes I cry because you need help in ways that I can’t help you, and helplessness as a parent feels—strangely, surprisingly—an awful lot like sheer terror.
Sometimes I cry because as a mother I have no choice but to put on my big-girl panties every day, and both of those things—having no choice and big-girl panties—can be really, really uncomfortable.
Sometimes I cry because I am so unbelievably tired—not sleepy, but tired—that I can’t do anything else.

Sometimes I cry because I hear God in your giggles.
Sometimes I cry because your very existence evokes a joy so profound that smiles and laughter can’t quite reach it.

Sometimes I cry because this blessing is so big and my cup is so small and the overflow has to go somewhere.

Sometimes I cry because all of these things—the love, the worry, the sadness, the beauty, the bursting, the big-girl panties, the blessing—it’s all too much to take. Just too, too much.
So sometimes I cry for you. And for me. And for this big world. And for a thousand other terrible, wonderful, desperate, beautiful reasons that you won’t understand until you’re a parent.

Sometimes I cry for you, little one. Big, cleansing tears.

Beautiful Thinking on this coming Mother’s Day, I hope you enjoyed it as I did. 
 

The Importance of Mother’s Day

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Mother’s Day had become a commercial holiday in my eyes abused by capitalism and retailers to extract as much money out of everyone as possible. I became relaxed about the day. It was just another Sunday in May because I think about my mother every day.

However, my feelings changed when I became a mother, of course they did. Everything changes when you birth a child. I began to see Mother’s Day as a day to be treated special and to be encouraged of how lucky I am to finally know the feeling of being a mother. I finally understood why my mother and aunts loved Mother’s Day so much. I asked a few friends what Mother’s Day means to them now that they are mothers themselves and we all agree on how special is now because of our children making us feel special.

Now that I’m a mother, I really love Mother’s Day from the handmade invitation to have breakfast at my son’s preschool, to the excitement important up to the event even that he is only 2 years and 5 month old, to the way he sees me in front of his classmates. The adorable gifts he’s made for me will always mean more to me than anything store bought I’ve ever received. It’s such a sweet holiday for me. I remember when I was a young girl; the emotion to wait for my mom at school on these special events makes me feel excited and compromise with my son, and I understand how my son will always feel about this special day.

Perhaps one of the problems is that society has tried to make Mother’s Day a tribute to women in general. This is one of our greatest errors. We don’t make Father’s Day a tribute to men everywhere, no it is a day for dad. Let’s make sure we not only do something special for her but tell her how deeply she is cared for and appreciated this Mother’s Day. I cannot think of a more thankless job. I hate to even call it a job, but it is work, with long hours, no vacations and no pay.

 

Ask almost any mother out there and they will tell you that there is not a more rewarding job/role to have then to be a mother. That pride, that feeling starts the moment they find out that they are pregnant, it as if life now has a deeper meaning and if you watch, if you pay attention you will see the woman you once knew become one of the most amazing women you will ever meet.

Kids & the Pasta Relationship


Use the “power of pasta” to introduce more variety in meals and see your child learning to enjoy a more balanced diet without mealtime drama.

Imagine this scenario. You found time in your busy day to schedule and prepare a family dinner. You included protein and vegetables to make it balanced, only to see your child piling pasta on his plate… then more pasta… and eating nothing else but pasta!

Sound familiar? You are not alone. I have met many parents who were concerned about their child’s love for plain starchy foods like noodles, bread, rice, or mashed potatoes.

A seemingly logical step would be to implement portion control and encourage the child to eat in a more balanced way. But limiting food does not work for children (or grown ups) who tend to react to dietary restrictions with intense cravings and usually find a way to get what they want. I remember counseling a family in which a five year-old girl was sneaking bagels into her bedroom after her health-conscious parents started “watching” her portion sizes.

But the question is, are starchy foods bad for your child?

Far from it. Starchy foods are rich in carbohydrates. This makes them a great option for kids. Here’s why:

* Kids have a innate penchant for sweet and starchy foods, which is logical from an evolutionary stand point. These foods make an efficient source of fuel for developing bodies and rapidly growing brains.

* Although many adults choose to limit carbohydrates or eat only whole grains for weight and health reasons, I typically do not recommend doing the same for children unless directed by a health professional for medical reasons. First of all, carbohydrates are a great way to meet high energy needs since they are easy for even the pickiest eaters to like. Secondly, too many fiber-rich foods may fill kids’ small stomachs before children get enough calories or nutrition. Aiming for a 50/50 ratio of refined to whole grains is a good goal for most kids.

* Although many starchy options like pasta and potatoes get a bad rep as “empty carbs”, they are far from being nutritionally void. Potatoes, for example, are a good source of fiber (if you do not peel them before cooking) and vitamin C. And did you know that just one serving of pasta contains around 1/3 of a toddler’s daily protein needs? And if you take into account that many starchy foods like pasta and cereals are fortified, it’s clear that these foods are quite nutritious.

But it’s easy to fall into the trap of preparing the same starchy foods, even nutritious ones, over and over again. For example, my kids went to three playdates last week and were served some kind of pasta at every single of them. And guess who made noodles and mac ‘n’ cheese for dinner the same week?

Here are a few ideas to increase variety without making your child feel carb-deprived:

* Experiment with other grains and vegetables. Explore the grain and starchy vegetable aisles in your grocery store. Although there is nothing inherently wrong with wheat unless one has a gluten sensitivity or wheat allergy, it is very easy to over rely on it, mainly because it is so ubiquitous in our food supply. Toast for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, crackers for snack, and pizza for dinner make up a fairly typical menu. What about granola, cooked oatmeal, or buckwheat pancakes for breakfast? Corn tortillas with guacamole or veggie chips with hummus for a snack? Potato fritters, roasted sweet potato wedges, grilled corn on the cob, polenta, boiled potatoes, rice, or quinoa for a dinner side?

* Think of veggie and protein “safe food” options. Do you always include a familiar and liked option in family meals for your child? If so, great! I am a big proponent of the Division of Responsibility in feeding, where parents carefully and lovingly plan meals while kids choose what and how much to eat. To make it work for your family, make a list of your child’s preferred or safe foods, divide them into foods groups, and include one or two in every meal you plan for the whole family. Remember, the safe food you include does not always have to be starchy. Try serving a familiar veggie or protein instead and combine them with a new or less liked starch. Example: breaded chicken and peas (both safe foods, perhaps) served with quinoa (a less familiar food).

* Mix it up. It is absolutely fine if your child eats only white pasta or rice, but, for the sake of variety, why not introduce their whole grain cousins? To start, mix a small amount of whole grains into the refined option and increase the ratio of whole grains gradually over time.

* Set up a “bar”. Instead of offering plain noodles or a naked baked potato, set up an exciting mix-and-match toppings bar. Make sure to include some conventional options like cheese, butter, or tomato sauce as well as more interesting toppings like olives, canned tuna, avocado, corn, herbs, fresh tomatoes, cooked chicken or ham, crumbled bacon, wilted or fresh spinach, sautéed or fresh onions, and even jalapeño peppers.

Starchy foods are most kids’ all-time favorites. Instead of limiting them in the hope to get children to explore other dinnertime offerings, use the “power of pasta” to introduce more variety in meals. Chances are you’ll see your child learn to enjoy a more balanced diet without mealtime drama.

I hope you identify with article and found it informative about Your kids’ eating habits that sometimes is a challenge for many parents.

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I DON’T HAVE A “MOM TRIBE”

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Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, maybe it’s because I’m sarcastic or weird. I don’t know exactly what the reason is, but what I do know is that I don’t have a “mom tribe” and I’m learning that that’s okay even that sometimes I feel like I am not okay with that statement.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t occasionally jealous of those moms who do. I see pics on social media of moms going running together. I read updates about how thankful these women are for their “tribe” to pick them up when they’re feeling down. They go on vacations together or have massive play dates with their kids or swap childcare so they can get a date night. They’re practically inseparable and are forever grateful to the women who understand and love them.

I’m not hating. I think it is fabulous when women love on and encourage and lift one another up. I think the world can change when a group of women get together and decide they’re going to do something epic. Hearing women speak about how they feel like they’ve found their “people” makes my heart all warm and fuzzy.

I can be happy for them, and at peace with the fact that I don’t have the same. I’m a mom who’s a bit on the fringe of the social circles.

Don’t get me wrong: I have mom friends and we do get together every once in a while and commiserate over the trials and tribulations of toddlers and small children whose main mission is to destroy us. And I do have friends who “get me,” but these women are few and far between not to mention far away from me, so do I have a tribe? A group of women where we’re all friends and we all get together and do stuff and have group hugs and game nights? Nope, I don;t have that.

There are, of course, downsides to this situation. I don’t have many people to call on if I’m in dire need of a sanity break and want someone to watch my kids for a few hours. I also don’t have a group of women I can reach out to watch the kids so my husband and I can go out on dates together. If I plan far enough ahead I can make these things happen, but it seems like having “a tribe” would allow these events to come to fruition much faster than what I’m used to. It sounds like when you have a tribe you’re hardly ever in want because someone is always willing to drop what they’re doing to rescue you because they get it and they live close by and they want to reach out a hand.

I don’t have that. I have a few mom friends who aren’t conveniently located, so for the most part, it’s just me doing my mom thing on my own. And I’ve spent enough time bemoaning the fact I don’t have my people, and I’m pretty much done with that now. I’m at peace with who I am and that I don’t fit into any of the mom groups I’m surrounded by. I’m hanging out on the edges, and occasionally, I get invited into the inner circle, but it’s never for long.

And that’s okay.

I’m not mad at them. And I don’t feel sorry for me.

I like myself. I like my situation. I like the fact that I can be unabashedly me, and I don’t have an ongoing group text message about who is watching whose kids while whoever goes out for date night. I’m a bit independent and autonomous, and that’s where I’m at and I’m at peace with it.

I’ve heard rumors that once my kids are in school I’ll make friends with the parents of my kids’ friends so maybe I’ll someday have my own tribe. For now, though, I accept where I’m at and am relieved to be done trying to find my soul sisters. I’m quite a catch, so I trust that someday they’ll find me.
 

6 things every son needs from his mom

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Boys tend to have a warm relationship with their mother. It is natural for a son to want to be close to her and protect her. To boys, their mother is the most beautiful, most perfect woman in the world. Her faults are practically invisible to her sons.

Fathers bring out more of a boy’s adventurous, playful side, with the possibility of more risky pranks and greater physical impact; “while the mother is for her son, the good, the welfare, the law, in a word, the Godhead in a form accessible to children,” said Henry Fredéric Amiel.

The balance of a mother/son relationship is critical for normal growth and development of the child’s personality. The boy needs to feel that he is accepted and loved unconditionally, that he can approach and seek protection at any time and will be welcomed. To deny these needs can bring about severe consequences. The hurt acquired in childhood shapes a person’s character. Physical and/or psychological abuse coming from the person who the child loves and trusts the most, will make a child feel that the world is hostile and should be handled with violence and self-defense.

So what do boys need from their mothers?

  1. Love

Tell your son how much you love him, and let it be clear. Demonstrate gestures of acceptance. He will in turn reflect that love to you and to others.

  1. Teaching

Your son wants and needs to be taught. Teach him to do good, the difference between right and wrong, to be self-sufficient and to be independent.

  1. Space to Grow

Instruct him, set good examples for him and then trust him to try things on his own.

  1. Loving Correction

Give him room to make mistakes, and to learn from them. Correcting your son’s mistakes firmly but kindly will help him want to do the right thing. Humiliating correction, on the other hand, produces the opposite effect.

  1. Limits

Setting limits is important. If a child feels that you cannot control his inappropriate behavior, he will feel like he is stronger than you and will try to manipulate you. On the other hand, if you overwhelm your son with inappropriate limits, he will feel no confidence and have difficulty getting and keeping jobs in the future. Setting appropriate limits will help him succeed.

  1. Physical contact

Hug and kiss your child. Look into his eyes, smile at him and play and laugh with him. Let your son seek your hand when he needs support, and let him meet your eyes’ approval when he is feeling insecure. Make your arms available when he is happy or needs a shoulder to cry on.

Mothers, you will discover that a son, who depends on your love and the security that it conveys, is one of the best gifts God has given you. I hope you like this article 6 Things every son needs from his mom

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