Do you love your children more than your spouse? Have you ever even allowed yourself to ponder that question? Probably not because it feels kind of dirty and wrong and then there comes the guilt, the all-consuming mommy guilt.
Parenting in America has somehow become a blood sport with the devotion of a religion. Not only do we parent like our lives depend on it, we know our reputations do and failure is not an option. This is the dogma upon which the church of helicopter parenting was founded. I used to embrace this very way of parenting, but I’m a recent convert.
Anyway, the first rule you learn is that the first year of marriage is the hardest. The second thing you learn is that once children enter the mix, maintaining a loving and enduring relationship with your spouse is even harder. It takes a lot of concerted effort on both people’s parts.
Basically, the rule is that you must cherish your spouse because they are forever. Your children are just a temporary horror show. Anyone who’s been paying attention knows that parenthood, especially the toddler years, is misery peppered with profound moments of bliss.
Unfortunately, many parents believe that in order to qualify as a good parent you must love and worship your children to the exclusion of all else. We treat parenthood like a religion and our offspring as our deities. We believe that nothing is more important than our children and their happiness.
As parents, we spend our lives on call, but after a certain point, we are needed less and less to guide them step-by-step, every minute of forever. We teach them, love them and give them the foundation they need to go out into the world and be good people with strong minds and beliefs.
Being a parent is probably the most profound thing many of us will ever do, but you can’t sacrifice everything for them, or what you have left to give won’t be worth anything.
I hope you found this article interesting. Some information was original of Deborah Cruz. Follow my blog to find informative and share experiences about motherhood, parenting, and family.
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