Things Not to Say to a Working Mom

1. Who raises your child? 

Last time I checked, that was me and my husband. Do I have a village helping out? The bigger question is, would you ask that of my husband if I was staying home while he worked? Is he not raising his kids because he’s working? I didn’t think so. So stop asking me who raises my children.

2. I could never trust someone else to take care of my child.

Great. Good for you. Stop trying to make yourself feel better about your trust issues by backhandedly telling me you can’t believe I send my child to daycare.

3. I don’t know how you do it. 

You know what, some days I have no flipping clue how I do it either. But at the end of the day, my child is happy and healthy. There’s no magic to working full time and parenting small children. It’s all about routines and balance and a whole lot of letting go of perfection. 

4. I’d be upset if I missed a baby milestone.

Well, that sucks for you. But please don’t place your negative thoughts on me. I have enough self-imposed mom guilt, and I don’t need you adding any to it. It’s not like I’ll never see my baby take some new wobbly walking steps. I’ll still get to see her drunken sailor walk even if I miss those first couple of steps. Remember, I’m raising my children, right? Nothing gets past me.

5. Don’t you miss your children?

Of course I do. Don’t you? But some days, if you could possibly imagine it. And honestly, for me, having some time away from my son makes me a better mom. I know that not all moms feel this way, but if you could just respect my feelings, that’d be great. 

6. They’re only little for a short time.

I couldn’t agree with you, I’m in huge denial about it. And I think any parent feels that way about time. But contrary to popular belief, time would NOT slow down if I stay home. There’s 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year. Working or not, as the saying goes, the days are long, but the years are short.

7. If you didn’t have such high standards for your lifestyle, you wouldn’t need to work.

Huh? I’m living paycheck to paycheck, for which I’m fortunate about and so many working moms do struggle to pay the bills also but that doesn’t mean I’m rolling in the dough. I only treat myself on special occasions. 

8. I’d prefer for my wife to stay home.
Oh, yes, I’ve heard this. Twice. From the same colleague. Well, good for you that your wife gave up her teaching career to fulfill your desires of landing Suzy Homemaker. That’s not my situationan. 

9. I’m so blessed to be able to stay at home. Good for you. Oh, and if you’re saying this to a working mom who works out of necessity, rather than choice, know you are just making her feel even worse. 

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